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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more people claim that modern work patterns are a source of stress. What do you think are the causes of this? Can you suggest some possible solutions?

#people #work #patterns #source #stress
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Spending time at work for a significant part of their lives, people care a lot about their own well-being. In reality, a large number of workers suffer from burnout and depression, and the causes for
this
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 are working conditions,
such
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 as the lack of a good motivational system in companies and poor work-life balance. In
this
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 essay, I will suggest how to manage stress among workers. In a highly competitive environment, people tend to have a heavy workload and huge responsibilities
due to
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 fear of job loss. Employees feel like they are constantly working and never have any time for themselves. Another reason that can lead to
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 problem is the absence of support and encouragement from management
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According to
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 The Workplace Health Report, 29% of UK employees have identified a lack of support as a cause of stress at work. To help prevent workers from burnout and feeling unsupported, it is wise for managers to encourage communication, provide constructive feedback, and ensure that people have the resources they need to perform their tasks effectively. One more possible solution is to create a special department, which controls the level of stress in teams.
Submitted by elena.rynhailo on

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Content depth
To further enhance your essay, try to integrate more specific examples that are directly related to the causes of stress and the solutions you propose. These examples will enrich your arguments and make your points more convincing.
Conclusion
Consider including a conclusion that summarizes your main points and reinforces your opinions. This will help to make your essay feel more complete and rounded.
Transitions
While you've made a good attempt at writing a structured essay, practicing more on smoothly transitioning between paragraphs will improve the flow of your essay. Consider using more linking phrases.
Structure
You've provided a clear structure for your essay, making it easy for readers to follow your thoughts.
Task response
Your essay addressed the task very well, presenting causes of workplace stress and suggesting solutions.
Relevance
You've identified relevant issues causing stress in the workplace, showing an understanding of the essay topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • workload: the amount of work that someone has to do Example: 'The increasing workload is becoming overwhelming for employees.'
  • burnout: a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress Example: 'Long working hours can eventually lead to burnout.'
  • work-life balance: the balance that an individual needs between time allocated for work and other aspects of life Example: 'Flexible working hours can help achieve a better work-life balance.'
  • digital detox: a period during which a person refrains from using electronic devices such as smartphones or computers Example: 'A digital detox can reduce stress and improve mental health.'
  • job security: the probability that an individual will keep their job, with a low risk of becoming unemployed Example: 'Job security is crucial for reducing stress in the workplace.'
  • micromanagement: a management style whereby a manager closely observes or controls the work of subordinates Example: 'Micromanagement can hinder productivity and increase stress levels among employees.'
  • autonomy: independence or freedom, as of the will or one's actions Example: 'Giving employees more autonomy can help reduce their stress and improve job satisfaction.'
  • career development: the process of managing life, learning, and work over the lifespan Example: 'Career development programs can reduce stress by providing employees with clear growth opportunities.'
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