Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be consequences for these children when they grow up?
Some
people
hold a view that helping other Use synonyms
countries
is equal to helping ourselves, so many Use synonyms
countries
with high levels of wealth would love to donate funds to not rich Use synonyms
countries
. Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
this
behaviour does not bring advantages to Linking Words
sovle
poverty. Personally, I agree Correct your spelling
solve
with
that developed Change preposition
apply
countries
should stop giving financial assistance to poor Use synonyms
countries
, in reverse, they need to take other measures. In Use synonyms
this
essay, it will Linking Words
expain
Correct your spelling
explain
personal
view of Correct pronoun usage
my personal
this
topic and give Linking Words
exmples
.
In some poor Correct your spelling
examples
countries
, they don't know much about development even if we give them money to change, they still waste the aid. Use synonyms
For example
, in some low level income Linking Words
coutries
, Correct your spelling
countries
such
as Africa, they have Linking Words
recvied
many funds from other Correct your spelling
received
coutries
to improve the condition of Correct your spelling
countries
Use synonyms
people'
living, Change noun form
people's
however
, Linking Words
nowdays
, there are still some Correct the word
nowadays
people
Use synonyms
do
not have enough food for their daily life.
Correct pronoun usage
who do
Secondly
, Linking Words
government
play an essential role in solving poverty.Use synonyms
Although
there Linking Words
are
Change the verb form
is
government
corruption Use synonyms
on
solving Change preposition
in
proverty
, it shouldn't Correct your spelling
poverty
been
seenChange the verb form
be
a
negative thing. The Change preposition
as a
government
could make more policies for Use synonyms
helping
the poor Replace the word
help
instead
of Linking Words
benifits
from the funding Correct your spelling
benefits
benefit
which
they have Correct pronoun usage
apply
recived
from other Correct your spelling
received
develpoed
Correct your spelling
developed
countries
. Use synonyms
For example
, in some Linking Words
low income
areas, Add a hyphen
low-income
people
could not afford to Use synonyms
rend
a house or buy an Wrong verb form
rent
appartment
. The Correct your spelling
apartment
government
put a house Use synonyms
pocliy
into Correct your spelling
policy
priacte
to solve Correct your spelling
practise
practice
this
problem. The policy could be building houses for homeless Linking Words
people
.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
compare
to giving money to poorer Wrong verb form
compared
contries
directly, the Correct your spelling
countries
goverment
should know what policy will help their Correct your spelling
government
people
and make an Use synonyms
effectent
policy to Correct your spelling
effective
sovel
Correct your spelling
solve
Correct article usage
the problem
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
which
they are facing.Correct pronoun usage
apply
Submitted by ysh424 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay should have a clearer logical structure and better organization of ideas. Transition words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs should be used effectively to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction and conclusion are clear and directly address the essay prompt. The introduction should clearly present the thesis, while the conclusion should summarize the main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Provide more detailed support for each main point with clear examples and explanations. Make sure each body paragraph focuses on a single idea, and expand upon it thoroughly before moving to the next point.
task achievement
The response must directly address the question, providing a complete discussion of the issues raised. Ensure that the position is clear and maintained throughout the essay, with a logical argument that clearly answers the prompt.
task achievement
Ideas should be explained fully and clearly, with detailed reasoning and examples if possible. Avoid broad statements by focusing on specific aspects of the issue and examining them in-depth.
task achievement
Use specific and relevant examples to illustrate the points you make. These examples should be directly related to the question and provide evidence of your claims, strengthening your argument.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...