Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be consequences for these children when they grow up?

#parents #children #consequences

Some

people

hold a view that helping other

countries

is equal to helping ourselves, so many

countries

with high levels of wealth would love to donate funds to not rich

countries

However

this

behaviour does not bring advantages to

sovle

Correct your spelling

solve

poverty. Personally, I agree

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that developed

countries

should stop giving financial assistance to poor

countries

, in reverse, they need to take other measures. In

this

essay, it will

expain

Correct your spelling

explain

personal

Correct pronoun usage

my personal

show examples

view of

this

topic and give

exmples

Correct your spelling

examples

. In some poor

countries

, they don't know much about development even if we give them money to change, they still waste the aid.

For example

, in some low level income

coutries

Correct your spelling

countries

such

as Africa, they have

recvied

Correct your spelling

received

many funds from other

coutries

Correct your spelling

countries

to improve the condition of

people'

Change noun form

people's

show examples

living,

however

nowdays

Correct the word

nowadays

show examples

, there are still some

people

Correct pronoun usage

who do

show examples

not have enough food for their daily life.

Secondly

government

play an essential role in solving poverty.

Although

there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

government

corruption

Change preposition

show examples

solving

proverty

Correct your spelling

poverty

, it shouldn't

been

Change the verb form

show examples

seen

Change preposition

as a

show examples

negative thing. The

government

could make more policies for

helping

Replace the word

help

show examples

the poor

instead

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

benefit

from the funding

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

they have

recived

Correct your spelling

received

from other

develpoed

Correct your spelling

developed

countries

For example

, in some

low income

Add a hyphen

low-income

show examples

areas,

people

could not afford to

rend

Wrong verb form

rent

show examples

a house or buy an

appartment

Correct your spelling

apartment

. The

government

put a house

pocliy

Correct your spelling

policy

into

priacte

Correct your spelling

practise

practice

to solve

this

problem. The policy could be building houses for homeless

people

. In conclusion,

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to giving money to poorer

contries

Correct your spelling

countries

directly, the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

should know what policy will help their

people

and make an

effectent

Correct your spelling

effective

policy to

sovel

Correct your spelling

solve

Correct article usage

the problem

show examples

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

they are facing.

Submitted by ysh424 on Sun Dec 10 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The essay should have a clearer logical structure and better organization of ideas. Transition words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs should be used effectively to guide the reader.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the introduction and conclusion are clear and directly address the essay prompt. The introduction should clearly present the thesis, while the conclusion should summarize the main points without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

Provide more detailed support for each main point with clear examples and explanations. Make sure each body paragraph focuses on a single idea, and expand upon it thoroughly before moving to the next point.

task achievement

The response must directly address the question, providing a complete discussion of the issues raised. Ensure that the position is clear and maintained throughout the essay, with a logical argument that clearly answers the prompt.

task achievement

Ideas should be explained fully and clearly, with detailed reasoning and examples if possible. Avoid broad statements by focusing on specific aspects of the issue and examining them in-depth.

task achievement

Use specific and relevant examples to illustrate the points you make. These examples should be directly related to the question and provide evidence of your claims, strengthening your argument.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

indulgence
overindulgence
leniency
emotional resilience
rejection
entitlement
realistic expectations
self-regulated behavior
egocentric
financial management
professional relationships
collaboratively
criticism
appreciation
value
effort

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, the stressful lifestyle of human beings causes negative impacts on their social life and well-being. Arguments exist about whether sports facilities are the best source for maintaining public fitness. In contrast, other people believe that it is not appropriate to solely concentrate on sports facilities to improve public health. From my standpoint, I agree with the latter viewpoint and am explaining both aspects in further paragraphs.
6.5
band
Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, loads of information is being spread widely through the Internet which seems to be a great way of sharing knowledge according to some people. However, another opinion is that major information shouldn’t be exchanged publicly. From my perspective, I believe in the latter due to some reason which will be discussed in this essay.
6.5
band
Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, it is often argued that social media is mainly responsible for the decline in people’s attention spans. In my opinion, I strongly agree with this viewpoint and would like to further explain it in this essay.
6
band
Many believe that the goal of one’s career should be to pursue a passion while others feel it is merely a way to earn a livelihood. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Many are of the opinion that to reach higher success in the career ladder, we must have a huge passion to follow while others see that a fundamental demand to meet their needs. From my perspective, I totally lean forward to the former being a truly meaningful purpose in life.
8.5
band
In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Other believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Investing in infrastructure improvement has become an important issue in several nations, which brings the disputation between expenditure on new railways or improving public transport. Both viewpoints are beneficial themselves, so in my opinion, governments should spend on the two above-mentioned motifs in balance.

Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be consequences for these children when they grow up?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many believe that the goal of one’s career should be to pursue a passion while others feel it is merely a way to earn a livelihood. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Other believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.