Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be consequences for these children when they grow up?

Some
people
hold a view that helping other
countries
is equal to helping ourselves, so many
countries
with high levels of wealth would love to donate funds to not rich
countries
.
However
,
this
behaviour does not bring advantages to
sovle
Correct your spelling
solve
poverty. Personally, I agree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that developed
countries
should stop giving financial assistance to poor
countries
, in reverse, they need to take other measures. In
this
essay, it will
expain
Correct your spelling
explain
personal
Correct pronoun usage
my personal
show examples
view of
this
topic and give
exmples
Correct your spelling
examples
. In some poor
countries
, they don't know much about development even if we give them money to change, they still waste the aid.
For example
, in some low level income
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
,
such
as Africa, they have
recvied
Correct your spelling
received
many funds from other
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
to improve the condition of
people'
Change noun form
people's
show examples
living,
however
,
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
, there are still some
people
do
Correct pronoun usage
who do
show examples
not have enough food for their daily life.
Secondly
,
government
play an essential role in solving poverty.
Although
there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
government
corruption
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
solving
proverty
Correct your spelling
poverty
, it shouldn't
been
Change the verb form
be
show examples
seen
a
Change preposition
as a
show examples
negative thing. The
government
could make more policies for
helping
Replace the word
help
show examples
the poor
instead
of
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
benefit
from the funding
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they have
recived
Correct your spelling
received
from other
develpoed
Correct your spelling
developed
countries
.
For example
, in some
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
areas,
people
could not afford to
rend
Wrong verb form
rent
show examples
a house or buy an
appartment
Correct your spelling
apartment
. The
government
put a house
pocliy
Correct your spelling
policy
into
priacte
Correct your spelling
practise
practice
to solve
this
problem. The policy could be building houses for homeless
people
. In conclusion,
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to giving money to poorer
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
directly, the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
should know what policy will help their
people
and make an
effectent
Correct your spelling
effective
policy to
sovel
Correct your spelling
solve
Correct article usage
the problem
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they are facing.
Submitted by ysh424 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay should have a clearer logical structure and better organization of ideas. Transition words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs should be used effectively to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction and conclusion are clear and directly address the essay prompt. The introduction should clearly present the thesis, while the conclusion should summarize the main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Provide more detailed support for each main point with clear examples and explanations. Make sure each body paragraph focuses on a single idea, and expand upon it thoroughly before moving to the next point.
task achievement
The response must directly address the question, providing a complete discussion of the issues raised. Ensure that the position is clear and maintained throughout the essay, with a logical argument that clearly answers the prompt.
task achievement
Ideas should be explained fully and clearly, with detailed reasoning and examples if possible. Avoid broad statements by focusing on specific aspects of the issue and examining them in-depth.
task achievement
Use specific and relevant examples to illustrate the points you make. These examples should be directly related to the question and provide evidence of your claims, strengthening your argument.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • indulgence
  • overindulgence
  • leniency
  • emotional resilience
  • rejection
  • entitlement
  • realistic expectations
  • self-regulated behavior
  • egocentric
  • financial management
  • professional relationships
  • collaboratively
  • criticism
  • appreciation
  • value
  • effort
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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