It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Certainly, let's enhance the essay to potentially achieve a Band 9 in IELTS Writing:
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Risks
, an intrinsic facet of life, present a dichotomy—potentially either an avenue to unprecedented opportunities or a perilous pitfall. This
essay delves into the assertion that, despite the inherent uncertainties, the advantages of embracing risks
far outweigh the drawbacks.
On one hand, navigating the terrain of risks
is akin to a gamble with a fifty-fifty chance of yielding either favorable
outcomes or catastrophic consequences. A deficiency in critical thinking exacerbates the perils, as inadequate discernment heightens the likelihood of stumbling into predicaments. Examples of ill-advised Change the spelling
favourable
risks
abound, from impulsive investments to reckless gambling habits and premature resignations from secure employment. The precipitous nature of such
decisions underscores the imperative need for prudence and foresight.
Conversely
, those who dare to be risk-takers often find themselves liberated from the constraints of their comfort zones. A significant proportion of individuals, shackled by the fear of the unknown, forego potentially transformative opportunities merely to maintain the security of their current circumstances. However
, embracing calculated risks
can catapult one into uncharted territories, ushering in a paradigm shift in their lives
. Fix the agreement mistake
life
For instance
, students who muster the courage to apply to esteemed institutions broaden their horizons, affording themselves unparalleled growth and development compared to their more risk-averse counterparts. The ethos of risk-taking, more often than not, begets ambition, fueling a relentless pursuit of self-improvement and resilience in the face of adversity.
In conclusion, while
the venture into risks
holds the perilous prospect of failure for those lacking discernment, the narrative shifts significantly for the
adept decision-makers. The allure of stepping outside one's normalcy, Correct article usage
apply
coupled with
the potential for exponential growth, eclipses the potential pitfalls. Thus
, the merits inherent in embracing risks
convincingly outweigh their demerits, ultimately paving the way for personal and professional enrichment. This
nuanced approach positions risk-taking as an indispensable catalyst for a life marked by continual evolution and triumph over adversity.Submitted by zefanyagyu on
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Task Achievement
In the future, consider incorporating more varied and specific examples to further substantiate your main points. This will enhance the task achievement score by showing a breadth of knowledge and the capacity to give concrete evidence to your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make sure transitions between ideas are fluid and logical connectors are used consistently to guide the reader effortlessly from one point to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion & Task Achievement
To reach band 9, ensure that each paragraph unambiguously supports the thesis with a clear topic sentence and balance the essay with a similar amount of discussion for both sides of the argument, even if the conclusion leans towards one side.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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