Some people think all lawbreakers should be sent to prison, while others think there are better alternatives for those whose crimes are minor, such as making them do work for the local community. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The line graph illustrates the
number of
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apply
show examples
population in three different
counties
in Oregon, United States from 1940 to 2000.
Overall
, it can be seen that the
residents
Correct quantifier usage
number of residents
show examples
in Oregon seem to be increased,
whereas
, two-thirds of the citizens are from
Wahsington
Correct your spelling
Washington
and
only
Add an article
an only
the only
show examples
minority
Correct article usage
a minority
show examples
of people are from
Columbia
and
Yamhil
Correct your spelling
Yamhill
. In detail,
Washington
always has a greater number of residents than the other two
counties
,
nonetheless
, in 1970 the citizens of all three
counties
experienced a noticeable shift
up
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apply
show examples
.
Additionally
, by 2000 the proportion of those living in
Washington
were
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was
show examples
roughly between 240 and 255
thoudsand
Correct your spelling
thousand
.
On the other hand
, the percentage of people in
Columbia
and Yamhill from 1970 to 2000 had extended just merely 50% from the past. It is evident that
Columbia
had a higher volume of citizens compared to Yamhill,
although
not significantly
while
Washington
had
far
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a far
the far
show examples
higher population, the highest among these
counties
.
Finally
, in 2000, the mass of those who
accommodated
Add a missing verb
were accommodated
show examples
in
Columbia
and Yamhill just reached the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of inhabitants of
Washington
in 1940
Submitted by amittawin on

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Task Achievement
Make sure to directly address the task prompt in your essay. The provided essay does not relate to the topic about lawbreakers and prison alternatives, therefore it does not properly task respond to the question.
Coherence & Cohesion
In your introduction, directly outline what the reader can expect from your essay. Since the essay you submitted did not match the given topic, aim to ensure that your introduction sets up a clear discussion related to the prompt.
Coherence & Cohesion
Maintain a clear, logical structure throughout your essay by having distinct paragraphs for each point of view and your own opinion, which again is related to the prompt given.
Coherence & Cohesion
Remember to conclude your essay with a summary of your main points and your final opinion, which must be pertinent to the essay prompt for a coherent closure.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples that demonstrate your points and relate them to the topic. In your response, consider including detailed reasons for why some people might favor prison or community work for lawbreakers, in line with the given prompt.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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