Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, troupes receive much support from high authorities, in spite of many
population
arguing that Change to a plural noun
populations
this
action is only a waste of money instead
this
budget can be consumed in some other fields. This
essay intends to analyze both perspectives among my personal perceptions.
To begin
, supporting any kind of artist including, singers, painters, actors and dancing is a positive point. Therefore
, these public make our lives beautiful even if they touch our souls. Sometimes, when our spirit needs to be relaxed music will do it. In addition
, investment in arts such
as Cinema, music and the profession of drawing has financial benefits too. For instance
, today Cinema has one of the highest incomes in the worldRephrase
apply
besides
, and music also
has a great profit additionally
, today craft of drawing also
has a high price in the market while
it does not have significant expenditure.
On the dorsal side, some parts of society do not welcome craft and list and they are the opposite of helping troupe. Because they believe that profession is not an urgent necessity of a rustic. Moreover
, the existence of craft does not really affect a community. To exemplify this
statement, if an agrarian does not have doctors for one day thousands of community will die if an agrarian does not have teachers entire crowd will remain illiterate but if a bucolic does not troupe nothing will happen considerably.
In conclusion, supporting a troupe is a good action but according to
this
essay, there are many other important things in a bucolic that must be prioritised rather than a profession.Submitted by amotoh10 on
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Language Use
Consider using more precise and varied vocabulary to express your ideas clearly and enhance the impact of your arguments. Some terms are repetitively used or could be more accurately selected for the context.
Structure
Ensure clarity in your argumentation by structuring your essay into clear paragraphs, each dedicated to a specific point or view. This will improve the logical flow and make your essay more cohesive.
Content
Incorporate a wider range of examples and evidence to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Balance
Work on providing a more balanced discussion of both views before stating your opinion. This includes elaborating equally on why some believe funding for the arts might be seen as non-essential.
Understanding
You engaged with both sides of the argument showing an understanding of the topic.
Coherence
Your essay demonstrates a good effort to structure your thoughts and present a coherent argument.
Conclusion
You made an effort to conclude your essay with a summary of your main points and your own opinion, which is essential for a strong essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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