Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
In
this
contemporary era, people have busy lives. Then
maintaining good healthy
is Replace the word
health
challenge
. Soke claims that Add an article
a challenge
the challenge
exercise
is the best way to stay healthy. While
others point out that a balanced diet
is more essential. I strongly agree with both of arguments
. Correct article usage
the arguments
Nonetheless
, in this
essay, I will discuss both views in upcoming paragraphs.
On the other hand
, exercise
keeps our body organs active and energetic. Everyone knows doing exercises has numerous benefits for our lives. As well as
,
medical officers always give advice to their patients about the value of Remove the comma
apply
exercise
. For instance
, some exercises such
as running, jogging and skipping make our body parts move constantly. As a result
, our metabolism rate increases, blood flows easily to our veins, control our blood pressure and sugar level. Furthermore
, doing physical activities helps to control stress. In other words
, exercise
cause
maintain mental health. As an example, if someone suffers the anxiety, Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
then
the person can like brisk walking, which helps to change a person's mind and refresh. According to
what has been already discussed, there are many advantages of doing exercise
. It leads to healthy
life. Add an article
a healthy
Therefore
, exercise
the
key to staying healthy.
On the one hand, critics may point out that a balanced Add a missing verb
is the
diet
is significantly important. It is prominent that Nutrients and minerals are very essential for our life. If we do not get a sufficient amount of nutrition, then
, we suffer from malnutrition. As a result
, people suffer from a list of bad diseases. Therefore
, a balanced diet
can not be overlooked.
In conclusion, exercise
and a balanced diet
have an undeniable influence on society. Some believe exercises play a vital role rather than a balanced diet
. I firmly believe that both notions are supremely important while
we have a healthy life.Submitted by dshansika97 on
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Task Achievement
For Task Achievement, ensure that your essay fully responds to all parts of the task. This includes discussing both sides of the argument comprehensively and providing a clear opinion. To improve, you should present a more balanced discussion of both views and tie your conclusion more closely to the content of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
In terms of Coherence and Cohesion, structure your essay with clear and logical paragraphs. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and subsequent supporting sentences. Avoid mixing different ideas within the same paragraph. To improve, aim to have a stronger thesis statement and clearer topic sentences that outline the main points you will discuss.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance Coherence and Cohesion, you should also use a range of cohesive devices appropriately to link your ideas. This includes conjunctions, referencing words, and discourse markers. You should also ensure your introduction and conclusion are fully developed, presenting the topic clearly and summarising your argument effectively.