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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#aim #science #people #lives
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Technology and
science
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, per se, have made us what we are,
master
Fix the agreement mistake
masters
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 of the universe, springing from control of fire at first to state-of-the-art inventions, e.g., aeroplanes and AIs. These technologies, whether tangible or intangible, have allowed our
lives
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 to become more convenient and comfortable. Admitting that it is a matter of relativity how we consider the aim of
science
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, the answer varies from person to person, depending on the value systems or personal traits. All in all, I totally agree with the statement for two reasons. First and foremost, I reckon that the primary purpose of
science
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 is to maintain people’s health.
For example
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, as medical technologies develop, many diagnostic equipment,
such
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 as MRIs and X-ray imaging systems, have been invented to identify the cause of disease at the initial stage. These innovations enable us to live longer than before, in a healthy state, and contribute to improving our
lives
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.
Secondly
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, but not less importantly,
science
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, especially agriculture, has encouraged a food supply, i.e.,
science
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 strongly supports a fundamental part of our
lives
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 to survive by itself.
For instance
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, modern agriculture makes it possible to grow crops in every season with greenhouses, controlling the best temperature for them.
Thus
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,
this
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 solution dramatically improves the lack of food. That having been mentioned, I would like to hasten to add the disadvantages of modern technology,
such
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 as global warming caused by using oil.
However
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, I believe that the essence of
science
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 definitely contributes to our
lives
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 and well-being, but we have to reconsider that it is one of the members that a human is, living on the planet.
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task achievement
Consider elaborating more on each supporting point to provide a deeper analysis and ensure comprehensive coverage of the topic.
task achievement
Try to ensure that examples are as specific and detailed as possible to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a consistent logical structure throughout each paragraph to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
While the conclusion is effective, ensure it offers any additional insights or future implications related to the topic.
coherence cohesion
You've effectively introduced the essay and established a clear position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay concludes with a thoughtful summary that reinforces the key points.
task achievement
You've provided relevant examples that illustrate the main points discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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