the graph shows data about the annual earnnings of 3 bakeries in calgary in 2000-2010

the graph shows data about the annual earnnings of 3 bakeries in calgary in 2000-2010
IELTS Writing Task Chart for the graph shows data about the annual earnnings of 3 bakeries in calgary in 2000-2010
The given line graph demonstrates the information about the yearly income of 3 bakehouses in Calgary over the period of 10 years.
According to
Linking Words
the data, Mari Bakeshop has the highest proceeds at the beginning of the period
,
Remove the comma
apply
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but demonstrates the poorest results in comparison with concurrents in 2010.
Also
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, Amandine Bakery and Bolo Cakery are the only one that compares an upward trend during the period. In 2000-2004, Mari Bakeshop showed a fluctuation in earnings and reached
$
Correct article usage
a $
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95000 maximum per year.
However
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, from 2004 to 2010, the income of the company decreases dramatically and amounts to $40000. From 2000 to 2005, the profit of Amandine Bakery remained steady and achieved $60000 per year.
Nevertheless
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, from 2005 until 2010, the company‘s income rises rapidly and reaches $105000.
Moreover
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, Bolo Calery has the smallest annual earnings $20000.
However
Linking Words
, during the next 10 years, the proceeds per year demonstrate an upward trend and amount to $65000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: The word "amounts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • annual earnings
  • trend
  • revenue
  • profit
  • fluctuations
  • significant
  • increase/decrease
  • peak
  • diverge/converge
  • strategy
  • market environment
  • competition
  • growth
  • performance
  • analysis
  • speculation
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