IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London.

The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London.
The line graph illustrates the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of Underground
Station
Use synonyms
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
 in the capital of England.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
station
Use synonyms
passenger
Fix the agreement mistake
passengers
show examples
 significantly
change
Change the verb form
changes
show examples
 over time. The highest number the line reaches is 400 people. Meanwhile, the lowest drop touches the 100 milestone. From the statistics, it can be inferred that early in the morning the London Underground
Station
Use synonyms
 has the lowest
users
Correct quantifier usage
number of users
show examples
 at the time in a day at 100 citizens namely at 6.00.
However
Linking Words
,
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
busy
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as 8 o’clock undeniably reach the peak of passengers using the
station
Use synonyms
 more specifically at 400 users. It is noticeable that from 8.00 to 16.00 the line mostly has a downward trend and once again
hit
Wrong verb form
hits
show examples
 the lowest point at 16.00.
Then
Linking Words
 the number of passengers almost
achieve
Verb problem
reached
show examples
 the peak once again approximately
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
400 users.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of people who use the London Underground
Station
Use synonyms
decrease
Change the verb form
decreases
show examples
 greatly
at the end
Linking Words
 of the day.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words station with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reaches" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: