IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country
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Nowadays, there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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disagreements
whether
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about whether
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 trained
professionals
such
 as doctors and engineers should or
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 not be required to search for employment in the
country
 they did their training.
This
 essay argues that trained
professionals
 should be working in the
country
 they did their training.
Moreover
, in
this
 essay, I will explore both sides of the debate to emphasize my main argument above. The
arguments
Fix the agreement mistake
argument
show examples
 for requiring trained
professionals
 to
work
 in the
country
 they study is that there
is
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are
show examples
 no worldwide standards of training. As an
implications
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implication
show examples
, the
country
 where they are trained usually
follow
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follows
show examples
 their own national standards.
Thus
, the cost of adapting to other
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
 is huge, especially in the sectors where life-and-deaths are involved,
such
 as medical sectors.
Moreover
, requiring
professionals
 to
work
 in the
country
 they study would be beneficial for the
country
 that provides them with the training. Think of it as giving back to the
country
 that delivered them the training needed to
became
Change the verb
become
show examples
professionals
.
However
, there are some merits on the other side of the debate. For
instances
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instance
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, some countries are in
despetate
Correct your spelling
desperate
needs
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need
show examples
 of
professionals
, especially if the countries are experiencing scarcity in the job market.
Moreover
, restricting
employee
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employees
show examples
to
Change preposition
from working
show examples
work
 in the
country
 they wish
contradict
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contradicts
show examples
 the principles of
free
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the free
a free
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 market. Employees should not be restricted to
search
Wrong verb form
searching
show examples
 for
an
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apply
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employment that gives them more benefits and advantages, especially if the employment
were
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 in another
country
. Taking both sides of the debate into account, I believe towards requiring trained
professionals
 to
work
 in the
country
 they did the training. These came for the most part that the cost of adapting to the cultures and environment of other countries
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 huge.
Submitted by athaarhdyn on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay follows a clear and logical structure. Start with an introduction, have body paragraphs for each view, and finish with a conclusion summarizing your main points
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion clearly state the topic and your opinion, making your position known to the reader from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with specific examples and evidence to make your argument stronger and more compelling.
task achievement
For a higher score, ensure that you completely address all parts of the task. It seems some aspects may have been under-represented in the essay.
task achievement
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by organizing them more comprehensively. Ensure there is a logical flow and that each paragraph builds upon the last.
task achievement
Integrate relevant, specific examples to illustrate your points. A variety of illustrative examples can increase the impact of your essay and provide clarity to your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: