More and more people are working from rather than at the workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There are many people willing to
work
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remotely these days.
While
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some people believe it fosters a warm family-friendly environment for them, others believe that it increases the level of anxiety for all members of the family.
This
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essay believes that working remotely has more advantages than disadvantages.
This
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essay will elaborate on both views. Advanced technology and the speedy internet of today's world have not only made our lives much easier but
also
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affected the way we
work
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. For a quite number of occupations, there is an option for the employee to
work
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in the office or to
work
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remotely with the internet prevalent almost everywhere.
For instance
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, those who are Logo designers, computer programmers, and even teachers can
work
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from almost anywhere around the globe. Despite all these facts, working at
home
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has manifold benefits
such
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as the reduction in transportation costs which might be too much when an individual commutes every day, or even the difficulty of punctuality
due to
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the heavy traffic of most cities.
Moreover
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, it can make families closer to each other as the breadwinners of
home
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can spend more quality time with their family.
However
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, for those who have an extended family, working at
home
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could be problematic as
it
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there
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might be too many distractions to concentrate
, especially
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on, especially
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when people live with more than three children in a small house. Research in 2018 on the remote employees of Mahak company revealed that the time allocated to the projects, given to those who are contractors working at
home
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, is far less than when they
work
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in the office
due to
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a variety of distractors
as well as
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the stressful environment which later leads to an argument between different members of families. In conclusion, working at
home
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is becoming more and more popular these days.
Although
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it may be time
as well as
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cost-efficient, it might lead to a lack of concentration or offer a rather stressful situation for all members of the family.
Submitted by abolfath50 on

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task achievement
You have addressed both views and provided your opinion clearly. However, it would be beneficial to explicitly reiterate your stance in the conclusion to strengthen the task response.
task achievement
Ensure that relevant specific examples are directly linked to the points being made to enhance the support for your arguments. For instance, further elaboration on how certain job roles benefit from remote work could be useful.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, transitions between paragraphs can be smoother. Better linking phrases will help improve the overall coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which helps in presenting a structured response.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with relevant details and examples.
coherence cohesion
Using varied sentence structures and vocabulary effectively makes the essay engaging.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • telecommuting
  • remote work
  • work-life balance
  • flexible schedule
  • overhead costs
  • commuting
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • isolation
  • team cohesion
  • domestic responsibilities
  • work attire
  • financial savings
  • blurred boundaries
  • mental health
  • social interaction
  • downsizing
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