More and more people are working from rather than at the workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There are many people willing to
work
remotely these days. While
some people believe it fosters a warm family-friendly environment for them, others believe that it increases the level of anxiety for all members of the family. This
essay believes that working remotely has more advantages than disadvantages. This
essay will elaborate on both views.
Advanced technology and the speedy internet of today's world have not only made our lives much easier but also
affected the way we work
. For a quite number of occupations, there is an option for the employee to work
in the office or to work
remotely with the internet prevalent almost everywhere. For instance
, those who are Logo designers, computer programmers, and even teachers can work
from almost anywhere around the globe. Despite all these facts, working at home
has manifold benefits such
as the reduction in transportation costs which might be too much when an individual commutes every day, or even the difficulty of punctuality due to
the heavy traffic of most cities. Moreover
, it can make families closer to each other as the breadwinners of home
can spend more quality time with their family.
However
, for those who have an extended family, working at home
could be problematic as it
might be too many distractions to concentrateCorrect pronoun usage
there
, especially
when people live with more than three children in a small house. Research in 2018 on the remote employees of Mahak company revealed that the time allocated to the projects, given to those who are contractors working at Change preposition
on, especially
home
, is far less than when they work
in the office due to
a variety of distractors as well as
the stressful environment which later leads to an argument between different members of families.
In conclusion, working at home
is becoming more and more popular these days. Although
it may be time as well as
cost-efficient, it might lead to a lack of concentration or offer a rather stressful situation for all members of the family.Submitted by abolfath50 on
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task achievement
You have addressed both views and provided your opinion clearly. However, it would be beneficial to explicitly reiterate your stance in the conclusion to strengthen the task response.
task achievement
Ensure that relevant specific examples are directly linked to the points being made to enhance the support for your arguments. For instance, further elaboration on how certain job roles benefit from remote work could be useful.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, transitions between paragraphs can be smoother. Better linking phrases will help improve the overall coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which helps in presenting a structured response.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with relevant details and examples.
coherence cohesion
Using varied sentence structures and vocabulary effectively makes the essay engaging.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?