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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people find a new jobs and study aboard. What are the disadvantages and advantages of those case?

#people #jobs #study #case
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We live in
this
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 era where mobility inter-country is something that can done easily whether to pursue education or find more opportunities for a career.
While
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 deciding to live abroad is sometimes very exciting for exploring different cultures and embracing self-development, there are
also
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 drawbacks
such
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 as distance relationships with family or the closest ones and abdicating responsibility to build their home country. Living aboard and starting a new kind of life with the capability to understand a totally different culture and learn to handle everything alone always seems fun to do. Finding a new place includes adapting to a new environment and community in it. Getting to know a brand-new culture enables individuals to be more respectful of their differences.
Moreover
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,
this
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 circumstance of living in a new place forces people to develop themselves.
This
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 may not be comfortable at first of moving, but
this
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 uneasy feeling is a good sign of growth.
However
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, settling up in a new state is
also
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 not a simple task
due to
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 separation from family or friends and disappointment in not contributing to their nation's expansion. Before even starting to reside aboard,
firstly
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, a person possibly thinks about their relationships. Drawing an analogy to long-distance relationships, several couples state that it is very hard to keep.
Secondly
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, the calls to build people's birthplaces perhaps cast down in
this
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 case.
To conclude
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,
while
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 being close to another culture and self-maturing are the benefits of residing abroad, the space with family and homesickness
also
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 should be considered.
Submitted by karinara.projects on

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Introduction Structure
Provide a more structured introduction presenting both sides of the argument, ensuring that it clearly introduces the topic at hand.
Cohesive Devices
Improve coherence by connecting ideas more smoothly and using a range of cohesive devices effectively throughout the essay.
Paragraph Structure
Ensure each paragraph contains one clear main idea, which is then developed with further explanations or examples.
Conclusion Structure
Try to cover all aspects of the question. A conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points of the essay and clearly state your stance on the topic.
Supporting Examples
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments and show a full understanding of the topic.
Task Response
Ensure that the response is relevant and fully addresses the question prompt, including all parts of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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