There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

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When we talk about

music

Use synonyms

we often think about songs or artists, but

music

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goes way beyond these two words. It is not a modern invention; it has been existing since the beginning of the human appearance on earth but is still considered

Change preposition

apply

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very important to us.

Music

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is a way to express our feelings to connect with other people. I strongly believe

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apply

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traditional

Correct article usage

the traditional

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music

Use synonyms

of a country is as important

than

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the international

music

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While

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some individuals argue that

music

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is a burden and should not be considered too much, others believe it helps us. Indeed,

music

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is essential in our lifestyle. The

music

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holds

such

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a power. Indeed, not only can it be an activity but

also

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helps us evacuate our emotions.

For example

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, a survey conducted by the University of Sciences Po

have

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has

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shown that 98% of students who started listening to

music

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or even

played

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playing

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had

better

Add an article

a better

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chance

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success.

Moreover

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, it has been discussed that the traditional

music

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of a country is more important than the international.

Although

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many individuals want to keep their nation’s history and values, international

music

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does not necessarily infringe on their culture.

For instance

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, younger generations are used to

listen

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listening

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to different genres

such

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as pop, rock and so on, it lets them choose between different genres and

developing

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develop

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new tastes and new capacities.

To conclude

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music

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is a key element to our health and allows us to connect with other people.

Additionally

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, I strongly believe that both international

music

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and traditional

music

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are as important and should not be a social source of

problem

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problems

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santos_dijThu Jan 25 2024

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task achievement

Make sure your main points are consistently supported by relevant examples and explanations throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Ensure every paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain better coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

Use more specific examples or data points to support the argument regarding the role of international and traditional music.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction clearly sets the context of the essay and provides a strong starting point.

logical structure

The essay includes a logical structure with a beginning, middle, and conclusion.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, reinforcing your argument that both types of music are important.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional release
cultural significance
globalization
cultural exchange
technology
preservation
cultural heritage
social cohesion
expression
consumption
production
traditional music
international music
diversity
identity

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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Your opinion

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Some health professionals suggest that older people spend more time socializing with others and playing sports to stay healthy, but many retired people have experienced loneliness and a lack of fitness. Why has this happened? What can be done to address this?

Universities should take the same number of men and women in each major. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many men and women are making the decision to have children later in life. Why is this trend occurring? What are the impacts of this development on both family and society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.