IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

#plans #show #layout #university’s #sports #centre #redevelopment
The
two
 layouts show how a university's fitness centre may evolve in the future
as a result
 of the planned improvements. The centre will have undergone considerable alterations after the implementation of the planned enhancements. Currently, a 25-meter-long
pool
 is located in the middle of the complex. It is flanked by a changing room, a gym, a lounging zone, and a reception situated in the west, north, east, and south respectively. There are
two
 outdoor courts located on the facility's west and east sides as well.
According to
 the plans, the university sports will expand in size as additional departments will be added. The 25-meter-long
pool
 and its environs (change rooms, seats, and reception) will remain in place. The gym,
on the other hand
, will be enlarged to the east.
Additionally
, an extra
pool
 will be erected on the west side of the space
instead
 of the outdoor court.
Moreover
, a sports store and a café will be open in the entrance hall opposite the reception.
Finally
, there will be
two
 expanded dance studios and a changing room in the east.
Overall
, the fitness area will be enlarged and have new facilities, including a second
pool
, a cafe, a shop, and
two
 dance studios.
Submitted by ddoiron on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that your ideas are presented in a logical order that is easy to follow. Use cohesive devices appropriately to show the relationship between ideas and parts of your text.
Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, make sure you address all parts of the task. Provide a complete response to the prompt by discussing all the key features of the sports centre before and after the redevelopment.
Task Achievement
To further improve your essay, enhance the development of your main points by elaborating on the changes with more detail. Compare and contrast the plans effectively to demonstrate a clear understanding of the differences and enhancements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: