IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that the government should pay money for large pieces of art, like sculptures for public display in outdoor places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It has been said that government bodies should allocate financial resources for large-sized
art
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 exhibits
such
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 as sculptures displayed in outdoor areas. From my perspective, whilst
this
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 kind of
art
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 is beneficial for
tourism
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, I largely disagree with
this
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 statement. On the one hand,
tourism
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 can benefit from large-scale
art
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pieces
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. In many public places,
such
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 as parks or quarters, they facilitate the beauty of the surroundings, thereby attracting more visitors.
Moreover
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, grand artworks are likely to fuel
tourism
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, which correspondingly fosters local economic development.
For instance
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, many foreign tourists have visited the Temple of Literature in Hanoi to see big stone turtles with significant historical value, contributing to the revenue of the hotel industry. Ultimately, there are some motivations for the government to spend on large
pieces
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 of
art
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 regarding the socioeconomic field.
On the other hand
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, spending on large outdoor
pieces
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 of
art
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 may be considered extravagant. Materials needed for big sculptures generally cost a substantial amount of money, which can
otherwise
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 be invested in other facets of
tourism
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 or the economy. Preserving historical buildings or artefacts could be taken as prime examples.
Furthermore
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, if sculptures are exhibited outdoors, they will be easily destroyed
due to
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 their susceptibility to natural elements
such
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 as high humidity or storms.
Therefore
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, additional funds are required for maintenance;
otherwise
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, they will inevitably be degraded and become public eyesores. Eventually, governmental expenditure on large outdoor artworks is seemingly inefficient. In conclusion, large-scale
art
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pieces
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 can enhance
tourism
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 and boost the local economy, I firmly believe that governments should prioritize spending on more sustainable and cost-effective endeavours
due to
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 the high expenses and vulnerability of
such
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 artworks in outdoor conditions.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear position throughout the response. While you presented both sides of the argument, ensuring your own stance is consistently clear can improve the coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by using more linking words and phrases that relate to cause and effect, contrast, and addition, to ensure seamless transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Develop your main points by giving more varied and detailed examples that support your arguments. This will help to make your essay more persuasive and impactful.
task achievement
Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and the main points of the essay. While your conclusion is present, it should also reinforce the argument provided in a way that brings closure to your perspective.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public display
  • heritage
  • identity
  • urban spaces
  • tourists
  • boost local businesses
  • economic revitalization
  • aesthetics
  • civic pride
  • public engagement
  • cultural dialogues
  • social issues
  • promote awareness
  • misallocation of funds
  • immediate needs
  • non-essential expenditure
  • subjectivity
  • dissatisfaction
  • taxpayers
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