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Band 2.5

The number of tourists visting a particular Caribbean island

#tourists #caribbean #island
Tourism in
Caribbean
Island
 has been growing considerably for the
last
 7 years. Since 2010,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of visitors has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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tripled from 1 million
tourist
Change to a plural noun
tourists
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 to more than 3 million annual visitors by the end of 2017.
Cruise
Add an article
A cruise
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 vacation is currently the most popular
tourist's
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tourist
show examples
 choice on
Caribbean
Island
,
contribute
Wrong verb form
contributing
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more
Change preposition
to more
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 than half
tourists
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of tourists
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 annually.
In
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At
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 the beginning of the decade,
cruise
vacation
Fix the agreement mistake
vacations
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 way less popular than
island
vacation
Fix the agreement mistake
vacations
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,
contributed
Correct word choice
and contributed
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only
Change preposition
to only
show examples
 a third of total
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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 annually in 2010.
However
,
cruise
Add an article
the cruise
a cruise
show examples
 has been growing rapidly since 2012 with
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of
tourist
Change to a plural noun
tourists
show examples
grew
Wrong verb form
growing
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 by 8 times in the span of 5 years.
On the other hand
,
island
 tourism
were experiencing
Wrong verb form
experienced
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 stagnant growth
of
Change preposition
for
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 almost 3 years from 2012 to 2015. It was even worsened by
declining
Correct article usage
a declining
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 trend from 2015 onwards; shifting the
favor
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favour
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on
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to
show examples
Caribbean
Island
 to
cruise
 ever since. Heading towards the next decade, it is realistic to say that the total number of visitors to
Caribbean
Island
 will constitute
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more than 5 million annual
visitor
Change to a plural noun
visitors
show examples
 considering promising growth of
cruise
 tourism recently.
Submitted by nicolasbungaran on

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coherence cohesion
The essay structure could be improved by using clearer transitions between points to help the reader follow the argument more easily. This includes better use of paragraphing and more explicit linking words to connect ideas throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should have a clear central idea, followed by support and development of that idea. Make sure that all paragraphs contribute to the overall argument in a meaningful way.
task achievement
It's important to address all parts of the prompt. The essay should also have a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points made and relates them back to the question.
task achievement
Use a wider variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to clearly express ideas and examples, ensuring that the response fully meets the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
What to do next:
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