Education should be accessible to people of all economic backgrounds. All leveld of education, from primary school to tertiary education, should be free. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
Public concern regarding the requirement of implementing a zero tuition fee for all stages and backgrounds is increasingly topical since some individuals argue that it must be accessible for all people. In response to
this
aforementioned issue, I thoroughly disagree with this
proposed perspective in order to implement free education owing to infeasibility and lack of eagerness.
Firstly
, it is obvious that government’s
responsibility Correct article usage
the government’s
to
provide free cost for schools so students can get free access Add a missing verb
is to
of
all facilities, especially for the needy Change preposition
to
which
have Correct pronoun usage
who
the
low probability Correct article usage
a
to learn
materials. Change preposition
of learning
However
, this
argument is misleading since there are many sholarships
Correct your spelling
scholarships
offering
to handle learning Wrong verb form
offered
cost
for Fix the agreement mistake
costs
the
poor pupils. Correct article usage
apply
In addition
, the practice is not feasible since the government have
a budget constraint to accommodate all Correct subject-verb agreement
has
sholars
by providing several posts for medical, environmental, and social purposes. Correct your spelling
scholars
Furthermore
, the cost of facilities, teachers’ salaries, and accommodations, which can support learning activities, require a huge fund. Thus
, the country still need
Change the verb form
needs
supports
from the parents to pay educational Fix the agreement mistake
support
expenditure
for their children.
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
Secondly
, cost-free for
Change preposition
apply
participating
in learning programs contributes Replace the word
participation
lack
of students’ Add the particle
to lack
encourageness
to study materials. Correct your spelling
encourages
encouragement
This
is because scholars feel that there is no loss in their budgets to get profound explanation
from their teachers. Fix the agreement mistake
explanations
Therefore
, it leads to decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
their
focus on studying and Change preposition
in their
take
subjects Wrong verb form
taking
unseriously
. Taking Jember as one example,Replace the word
seriously
a
research conducted by McKinsey in 2008 reported that some districts, namely Jember, Situbondo, and Bondowoso, applying zero tuition fees for all levels experienced only 78% of pupils attending Correct article usage
apply
in
the classes. Change preposition
apply
This
number was less than educational institutions which require money from their parents by contributing 97% of attendence
.
Correct your spelling
attendance
To sum up
, applying cost-free for educational purposes was a bad decision as it leads countries to face difficulties because of unreliability and less encourageness
for students.Correct your spelling
encouragement
Submitted by akunyesikafikan1814 on
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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that restate the topic and your viewpoint. In your essay, the conclusion can be further improved to reflect a summary of your main points and reinforce your position more strongly.
Idea Development
Develop your ideas fully. While your essay addressed the topic, expanding on your ideas and explaining your reasoning further can enhance reader understanding. You can add more detail on how the budget constraints of governments might affect other crucial sectors, and why student motivation could decrease in the absence of tuition fees.
Task Response
Your essay presents a clear standpoint; however, make sure to provide a balanced view by also considering the opposite argument to show a full understanding of the issue. This can enrich your response and present a more nuanced perspective.
Supporting Examples
Provide specific examples to support each main point. While you did mention a study, giving more detailed evidence and explaining how it supports your argument can make your essay more persuasive.
Cohesion
Work on the organization and logical flow of your essay. Connect your ideas more clearly using a variety of linking words and phrases. This can improve coherence and the overall readability of your essay.
Grammar and Accuracy
Check your work for grammatical errors and ensure correct word usage to improve clarity. Mistakes can disrupt the flow and coherence of your writing.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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