Education should be accessible to people of all economic backgrounds. All leveld of education, from primary school to tertiary education, should be free. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

Public concern regarding the requirement of implementing a zero tuition fee for all stages and backgrounds is increasingly topical since some individuals argue that it must be accessible for all people. In response to
this
aforementioned issue, I thoroughly disagree with
this
proposed perspective in order to implement free education owing to infeasibility and lack of eagerness.
Firstly
, it is obvious that
government’s
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the government’s
show examples
responsibility
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
provide free cost for schools so students can get free access
of
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to
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all facilities, especially for the needy
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
low probability
to learn
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of learning
show examples
materials.
However
,
this
argument is misleading since there are many
sholarships
Correct your spelling
scholarships
offering
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offered
show examples
to handle learning
cost
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costs
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for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor pupils.
In addition
, the practice is not feasible since the government
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a budget constraint to accommodate all
sholars
Correct your spelling
scholars
by providing several posts for medical, environmental, and social purposes.
Furthermore
, the cost of facilities, teachers’ salaries, and accommodations, which can support learning activities, require a huge fund.
Thus
, the country still
need
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needs
show examples
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
from the parents to pay educational
expenditure
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expenditures
show examples
for their children.
Secondly
, cost-free
for
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apply
show examples
participating
Replace the word
participation
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in learning programs contributes
lack
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to lack
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of students’
encourageness
Correct your spelling
encourages
encouragement
to study materials.
This
is because scholars feel that there is no loss in their budgets to get profound
explanation
Fix the agreement mistake
explanations
show examples
from their teachers.
Therefore
, it leads to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
their
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in their
show examples
focus on studying and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
subjects
unseriously
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seriously
show examples
. Taking Jember as one example,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research conducted by McKinsey in 2008 reported that some districts, namely Jember, Situbondo, and Bondowoso, applying zero tuition fees for all levels experienced only 78% of pupils attending
in
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apply
show examples
the classes.
This
number was less than educational institutions which require money from their parents by contributing 97% of
attendence
Correct your spelling
attendance
.
To sum up
, applying cost-free for educational purposes was a bad decision as it leads countries to face difficulties because of unreliability and less
encourageness
Correct your spelling
encouragement
for students.
Submitted by akunyesikafikan1814 on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that restate the topic and your viewpoint. In your essay, the conclusion can be further improved to reflect a summary of your main points and reinforce your position more strongly.
Idea Development
Develop your ideas fully. While your essay addressed the topic, expanding on your ideas and explaining your reasoning further can enhance reader understanding. You can add more detail on how the budget constraints of governments might affect other crucial sectors, and why student motivation could decrease in the absence of tuition fees.
Task Response
Your essay presents a clear standpoint; however, make sure to provide a balanced view by also considering the opposite argument to show a full understanding of the issue. This can enrich your response and present a more nuanced perspective.
Supporting Examples
Provide specific examples to support each main point. While you did mention a study, giving more detailed evidence and explaining how it supports your argument can make your essay more persuasive.
Cohesion
Work on the organization and logical flow of your essay. Connect your ideas more clearly using a variety of linking words and phrases. This can improve coherence and the overall readability of your essay.
Grammar and Accuracy
Check your work for grammatical errors and ensure correct word usage to improve clarity. Mistakes can disrupt the flow and coherence of your writing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessible
  • economic backgrounds
  • tertiary education
  • equal opportunities
  • workforce
  • innovation
  • social cohesion
  • class divide
  • government budgets
  • compromised quality
  • investment
  • future earnings
  • global competition
  • implementation
  • funding
  • administration
  • infrastructure
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