Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attension to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is still
subject
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the subject
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of
a
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apply
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debate when the majority believe that
advertisment
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advertising
rises
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increases
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people
's consumption
while
others say promotion is no longer effective as
people
do not pay attention to it anymore.
Hence
,
this
essay will state both sides of
views
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view
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as well as
give some related illustrations before I
say
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apply
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give my opinion.
To begin
with, it is undeniable that
commercial
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commercials
show examples
loves
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love
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to attract
people
with
eyecatching
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eye-catching
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design and attraction.
This
strategy is in fact giving an influental mindset to individuals so they will tend to buy the things that are being promoted.
For example
, many
brands
have their own songs or jingles on their advertising
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content
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contents
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content
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for background music in their commercials so that consumers
are
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apply
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not only
rising
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raise
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their
awarness
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awareness
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of
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to
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of
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what the companies are trying to sell but
also
undirectly
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memorising
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memorize
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memorising
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their iconic
advertisment
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advertisement
.
Moreover
,
this
move is actually great for
brands
to get well-known by
public
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the public
show examples
since individuals tend to spend their expenses on things that are already famous. On the other side, buyers started to feel tired
with
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of
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what they
have
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had
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seen
on
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in
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the commercials.
This
phenomenon is not only because
brands
love to give something repetitive to the public, but
also
how
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because
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it is common and
normalize
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normal
show examples
for buyers to get scammed by them. To illustrate, several mobile phone companies release new
type
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types
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of devices
anually
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annually
manually
and
claimed
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claim
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that there are various new features in their upcoming brand new phones. The way that the
brands
always promote some refreshment repeatedly, citizens
likely
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are likely
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to just ignore that claim as they already feel enough of it.
To sum up
, I believe that advertising is indeed great
to gain
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for gaining
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selling numbers,
however
, companies should not overdo it so that their promotion is still impactful for
public
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the public
show examples
.
This
is because I still can see how
people
still have a high interest
to buy
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in buying
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stuff if only the stuff is being endorsed in a great way.
Submitted by writingielts0 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that all viewpoints and your opinion are fully developed and extended. While you have discussed both views and provided examples, there is room for deeper exploration and more specific supporting examples to better illustrate your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on the range and accuracy of grammar and vocabulary. Aim for more complex sentence structures and precise word choices to enhance clarity and cohesion throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Include a clear thesis statement in the introduction and ensure that the conclusion summarizes all main points and restates your opinion to create a strong, decisive close to the discussion. Avoid introducing new ideas in the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Utilize cohesive devices effectively, but be cautious of overusing them. Aim for a natural flow of ideas. Additionally, pay attention to paragraphing, where each paragraph contains one clear main idea and is fully developed.
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