Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today’s world subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your knowledge or experience.

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To begin

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, individuals think that history is a crucial part of school subjects but other people propose that nowadays subjects

such

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as science and technology are most precise in the modern world rather than the past. It has some advantages and disadvantages related to

this

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statement and I will discuss both views in detail in upcoming paragraphs.

However

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, history is the most crucial part of the subject because it provides the knowledge of ancestors and their work in the past.

Also

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, people learn different types of analytical skills and critical thinking by studying their historical events.

Therefore

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, events and current affairs are common parts of most entrance exams in countries

then

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many students prepare to crack the exam.

Moreover

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, it provides us with traditional values and the importance of the culture which is grown by the communities.

For instance

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, many historical events have to explain their theories for learning to new students in colleges.

Nevertheless

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, education and machinery are more favourable for individuals in the developing world because skill furnishes many experimental theories related to various topics that it is very popular in the nations.

Furthermore

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, in the current situation, most of the work is done with scientific and technical proved by experts that these skills have more role in developing countries.

For example

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, science and automation solve many problems regarding nature and health because they can identify the facts about something happening in the environment and healthcare sector.

To conclude

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, some communities believe that skill and automation are more profitable skills

instead

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in the past so I have given bullet points above mentions. In my opinion, both are more important in human life because they can give various solutions

as well as

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factual-based evidence.

psingh8059Thu Mar 21 2024

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coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, aim to improve the logical structure of your arguments. Ensure that paragraphs are well-organized and that ideas flow seamlessly from one to the next. You can use linking words effectively to connect your points.

coherence cohesion

Include a clear introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should set the stage for the discussion and outline your stance clearly. Your conclusion should summarize the key points discussed and restate your opinion in a clear, concise manner.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with more specific examples. While you have provided examples, delving into more specific, detailed examples or adding personal anecdotes can enhance your arguments and make your essay more persuasive and engaging.

task achievement

Ensure your response directly addresses the prompt and covers all aspects of the question. Clarify your position early on in the essay and maintain a focus on that perspective throughout, offering a balanced discussion before asserting your opinion in the conclusion.

task achievement

Strive for clarity and comprehensiveness in expressing your ideas. This means being direct and concise in your writing, using simple and clear language that can easily convey your points to the reader.

task achievement

Incorporate more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your task achievement. Go beyond general statements to provide evidence or real-world instances that support your arguments and opinions.

15
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural heritage
Historical perspective
Analytical skills
Contextual understanding
Technological advancements
STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
Innovation
Interdisciplinary
Job market
Climate crisis
Cultural identity
Critical thinking
Humanities
Contemporary issues
Integration
Tech-savvy

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