In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In many nations, teenagers are involved in various
kind
of paid Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
employment
. Some would argue that it is totally wrong, Use synonyms
while
others say that it is fine for Linking Words
children
to gain work Use synonyms
experience
. Use synonyms
This
essay disagrees Linking Words
for
allowing Change preposition
with
children
Use synonyms
working
at Change the verb form
to work
the
young age, despite Correct article usage
a
of
the Change preposition
apply
experience
they gained, they have Use synonyms
their
right Change the word
the
for
Change preposition
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
time
for Use synonyms
developments
.
On Fix the agreement mistake
development
one
hand, working at Correct article usage
the one
the
young age Correct article usage
a
increase
their life Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
experience
. They know how difficult to earn money and understand the real world. It will help them to develop their attitude, work ethic and responsibility at the early stage. Use synonyms
For example
, many Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
the
firstborn Correct article usage
apply
child
in Indonesia takes a Change to a plural noun
children
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
job to help their family Use synonyms
financial
, it Change the word
financially
resulted
in Wrong verb form
results
the
most Correct article usage
apply
of
firstborn Change preposition
apply
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
has
better character compared to their siblings when they grow up. Wrong verb form
having
However
, I believe that adolescent should not involved in any kind of Linking Words
employment
because their mentality is not ready yet to handle working pressure.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, Linking Words
children
have Use synonyms
their
right Change the word
the
for
their Change preposition
to
developments
and working at Fix the agreement mistake
development
the
young Correct article usage
apply
ages
could interfere with Fix the agreement mistake
age
child’s
growth and development process. It Correct article usage
a child’s
Linking Words
also
prohibited by the regulation of Add a missing verb
is also
Correct article usage
the Indonesia
Indonesia
government related to child protection to prevent Correct your spelling
Indonesian
child’s
exploitation and they Change noun form
child
only
allowed to get Add a missing verb
are only
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
Use synonyms
job
not more than 3 hours a day. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
For example
, most Linking Words
of
paid Change preposition
apply
employment
Use synonyms
schoolboy
and Fix the agreement mistake
schoolboys
girl
in Indonesia Fix the agreement mistake
girls
working
more than 3 hours a day and most of them Wrong verb form
work
did
not finish their study with the belief that the Wrong verb form
do
skill
they have Fix the agreement mistake
skills
is
enough for their future life. I believe that teenagers should not allowed for paid work to ensure they have enough Wrong verb form
are
time
for their educations and growth process.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
working at Linking Words
the
young age Correct article usage
a
increase
the life Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
experience
of Use synonyms
children
, it could interfere with their development and that Use synonyms
why
young Add a missing verb
is why
person
should not involved in any kind of Fix the agreement mistake
people
employment
.Use synonyms
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Introduction Development
Start by refining your introduction to provide a clearer outline of the topic and make sure to directly address the task statement by mentioning both views and your own opinion.
Supporting Details
Further develop your main paragraphs by expanding upon your ideas with more specific supporting details and relevant examples to fully illustrate your arguments.
Conclusion Development
Ensure that your conclusion succinctly summarizes both views and restates your opinion, providing a clear end to your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and incorporate paragraphing to clearly define different ideas and arguments. This will enhance the logical flow of the essay.
Sentence Structure
Work on sentence structures and aim for variety. This will also help in conveying your points more effectively and in a more academically appropriate style.
Task Balance and Exploration
Address both views presented in the prompt equally to more accurately fulfill the task achievement criteria. Make it a point to explore each perspective thoroughly before giving a reasoned conclusion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?