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Band 2.5

Some people think that parents should tell stories or read to their children. However, others believe that these days this isn’t necessary as children have so many other sources for stories, such as books, films and TV. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #parents #stories #children #isn’t #sources #books #films #tv
There is
opinion
Add an article
an opinion
the opinion
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 that
stories
 should be told to
children
 by their
parents
. But some individuals believe that it
is not need
Change the verb form
is not needed
show examples
 for
children
, because it has many sources so the child
do
Change the verb form
does
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 not know to choose. My opinion is
children
 can listen or read without the help of
parents
. The first reason,
children
 should learn to read
stories
 without adults. Nowadays,
parents
 are busy
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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. So their
children
 can learn the ability to understand for their
children
.
Furthermore
, animated films have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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provided speech
stories
 for
children
. Even if
parents
 have enough time to take care
their
Change preposition
of their
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children
 or
reading
Wrong verb form
read
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stories
 they love. They can not save many different
stories
 that these
film
Change the determiner
films
show examples
 provide.
However
, I believe that
children
listen
Add the preposition
listen to
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 the story that their
parents
 read
fo
Correct your spelling
to
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 them. It is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 good way to connect emotion and a good education. Affection will arise when mom and dad give love to their
children
 with the help of storytelling.
Conclusion
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In conclusion
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, some advocaters might say that
parents
 do not have enough time to tell
stories
, I believe
parents
 by narrating
stories
 can foster higher values in their offspring and prioritize a sense of morality in their future. Viết cho Do Tuan Anh
Submitted by thuhong.68hnue on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity in presenting your arguments by organizing them into clear paragraphs, each with a main idea and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Write an introduction that paraphrases the question and clearly states your opinion, and a conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates your stance.
coherence cohesion
Develop each argument with specific examples or reasons supporting the main idea of the paragraph.
task achievement
Expand on each point of view with more detailed explanations before stating your opinion. Use linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
For a high score, provide relevant, specific examples or evidence to support your points and use a range of vocabulary and grammatical structures accurately.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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