There are some students who care about nothing but studying,and doing unpaid community service may bring them an opportunity to get to know what the real world around them looks like. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I agree unpaid
community
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

service
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can help
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

borden
Correct your spelling
broaden

If you don’t want borden to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

their
horizen
Correct your spelling
horizons

If you don’t want horizen to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to the outside world. Since high school
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are usually occupied with their studies,the only thing they care
is
Change preposition
about is

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
their grades,there is
rare
Add an article
a rare

The noun phrase rare chance seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
chance for them to
contact
Add a missing verb
have contact

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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with
outside
Add an article
the outside

The noun phrase outside world seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
world.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

doing
community
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

service
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

could provide them a way to communicate with various residents and work in
community
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

service
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers

It seems that center may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of school.During the process of
participanting
Correct your spelling
participating

If you don’t want participanting to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

volunteering
Change preposition
in volunteering

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
activities,
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will have a deeper understanding of
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Correct article usage
the society
show examples
society
Replace the word
societal

The word society doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
background of different groups of people
who
Correct pronoun usage
whom

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
they
are serve
Change the verb form
are serving
are served

It appears that the form of the verb serve does not work with are in this sentence.

show examples
for
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

show examples
and realise common current
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

society
Replace the word
societal

The word society doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
affairs, residents’ requests and corresponding solutions,which is impossible to learn from school.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,if
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

take part in
volunteery
Correct your spelling
volunteer
voluntary

If you don’t want volunteery to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

work in
retirement
Add an article
a retirement
the retirement

The noun phrase retirement community seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
community
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,they are not only supposed to take care of elders and provide food delivery for them
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma before the conjunction but also appears to be unnecessary. Consider removing it.

show examples
but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

need to clean the streets of
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

community
Add an article
the community

The noun phrase community seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
and socialize with elders,giving them humanitarian concern and daily life support.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

work will to a large extent help
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

realise what elderly life is like and gain experience of dealing with people and situations. To
summerize
Correct your spelling
summarise

The word summerize doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
,unpaid
community
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

service
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will provide an occasion for
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to contact
with
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
society
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and know
outside
Add an article
the outside

The noun phrase outside world seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
world,which will significantly contribute to their future career life after they
entering
Wrong verb form
enter

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb entering. Consider changing it.

show examples
society
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
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Introduction & Conclusion
Make sure to provide a clear thesis statement at the end of the introduction and reiterate your position in the conclusion for a stronger impact.
Coherence
To improve the logical flow, try to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively with a variety of cohesive devices.
Supporting Main Points
Expand on each argument with more detailed examples or evidence to enhance clarity and depth in support of your points.
Task Response
Be sure to address each part of the prompt fully to cover the task response criteria comprehensively. Discuss different views if the question requires it and give reasons for your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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