The graph below shows the consumption of 3 spreads from 1981 to 2007.

The graph below shows the consumption of 3 spreads from 1981 to 2007.
The line graph illustrates the intake of margarine, low fat and reduced spreads and
butter
between 1981
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
2007.
Overall
, the consumption of
butter
decreased dramatically over the years
whereas
low fat
Add a hyphen
low-fat
show examples
and reduced spreads were consumed increasingly. The intake
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
margarine dropped slightly as compared to the time when it first started in 1981.
Butter
started off at over 140
grains
in 1981 and peaked at around 160
grains
in 1986
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
before it dropped significantly to
the
Change the word
its
show examples
lowest at around 50
grains
in 2007.
In contrast
, low fat and reduced spreads were only introduced in 1996. It showed a steep upward trend and overtook
butter
after 1996. It
then
reached its highest point at over 80
grains
in 2001, before starting to fall progressively to 70
grains
in 2007. Margarine,
on the other hand
, stood at 90
grains
in 1981. It fluctuated in the next 10 years and reached a plateau between 1991 to 1996. It
subsequently
began to fall and dropped to its lowest at 40
grains
in 2007.
Submitted by michellehoon0924 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words butter, grains with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • spreads
  • increased
  • decreased
  • stable
  • significantly
  • approximately
  • per capita
  • remarkable
  • peaked
  • experienced
  • started
  • remained
What to do next:
Look at other essays: