SCHOOL TEACHERS USED TO BE THE SOURCE OF INFORMATION. HOWEVER, SOME PEOPLE ARUE THAT TEACHERS ARE NOT AS IMPORTANT AS BEFORE AS THE INCREASING VARIETY OF INFORMATION RESOURCES. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE

For over a
hudred
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hundred
of
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apply
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years, academic instructors have been the most trusted place to earn
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
.
However
, is it really relevant and justifiable nowadays? Some people
belive
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believe
show examples
that a self-study method is way more effective as plenty of resources on the
internet
has
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have
show examples
developed rapidly over the past ten years. I personally argue that using
internet
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the internet
show examples
would create more positive impacts rather than gaining
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
by
taught
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being taught
show examples
. First of all, it is a widely known fact that
,
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apply
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to achieve a high score and rank, the materials and teachers must be enjoyable for
students
to study.
Morever
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Moreover
, it is obviously possible for us
find
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to find
show examples
outstanding surroundings in class, as we get plenty of friends. Despite the academic facilities that schools
provided
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provide
show examples
, the atmosphere of learning in class must
also
be a considered factor of
student's
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student
show examples
convenience. Clearly, teachers
has
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have
show examples
learned
this
before delivering the materials for
students
to be more acceptable.
In contrast
with self-learning where there
were
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is
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only a computer device and videos to understand, some people find it more comfortable to learn with
teacher
Add an article
the teacher
a teacher
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as the source of information.
Nevertheless
, it is an
undebateable
Correct your spelling
undebatable
argument that the existence of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
and artificial
intellegence
Correct your spelling
intelligence
(AI) has been the biggest solution
of
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to
show examples
student's
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
. Around approximately 80%
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of learner
show examples
learner
Fix the agreement mistake
learners
show examples
in every country use the help of Open AI, Chat GPT, or any other applications. Apparently, AI and
the
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internet-based
show examples
internet
base
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
are seen to be more useful because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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quick response and accuracy. There
is
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are
show examples
also
tons of videos, journals, articles,
of
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or
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even digital books that are
accessable
Correct your spelling
accessible
on the
internet
.
That is
why most
of
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apply
show examples
students
decided to do self-study by gaining tons of insights from the
internet
rather than hiring a teacher. Since it is cheaper and
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
affordable prices,
students
are allowed to explore as much as they want. All in all, in spite of the class environment that makes
students
feel comfortable, the advantages of
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
resources still outweigh the teacher's capabilities. I certainly believe as the development of
internet
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the internet
show examples
increase
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increases
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year by year, we can
also
maximize
the
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apply
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human resources by educating
students
through it
as well as
monitoring the systems to be safely used by
students
.
Submitted by naurah.ar31 on

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Introduction Advice
Introduce your essay with a more neutral tone, providing a balanced view of the topic before stating your position.
Introduction/Conclusion Advice
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion explicitly address the prompt, ensuring the question is answered directly without ambiguity.
Linking Advice
Focus on linking your ideas clearly to the question throughout the essay, not only in the introduction and conclusion.
Development Advice
Develop your main points more fully with detailed explanations and more specific examples, as they are currently somewhat general.
Cohesion Advice
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Grammar/Spelling Advice
Carefully proofread your essay to avoid spelling and grammatical errors which can hinder the reader's understanding and reduce the coherence of the essay.

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When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Information technology
  • Access
  • Independent learning
  • Structured learning
  • Guidance
  • Expertise
  • Moral values
  • Critical thinking
  • Facilitator
  • Complex information landscapes
  • Emotional support
  • Motivation
  • Discern
  • Mentorship
  • Synthesizing
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