Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #opportunity #secure #job #right #support

Due to

the growth of

workforce

Correct article usage

the workforce

show examples

number, many people sought to settle for the first

job

that

lands on

Wrong verb form

landed

show examples

them rather than pursuing their preferred

career

. In

this

regard, I partially agree

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

noting the current

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

circumstance that erases

career

options for many individuals. For the past few years, there has been an overflowing figure of

Correct article usage

the laborforce

show examples

laborforce

Correct your spelling

labour force

show examples

all around the world.

For example

in Indonesia, researchers predict that in 2026,

while

job

opportunities will stay stagnant, there will still be a dramatic increase in the number of new workers.

As a result

, many

fresh-graduates

Correct your spelling

fresh graduates

show examples

are prone to joblessness,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

which can

cause

Verb problem

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

disrupt

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the national economy. In response,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

are

promoting

Verb problem

encouraging

show examples

younger generations to take any jobs that land on them once they have graduated. Evidently, many youngsters

also

pertain

this

Change preposition

to this

show examples

view in conducting

job

-search.

For instance

, a number of surveys inform that there are many employees who choose to stay at their current office despite being dissatisfied with the environment.

This

phenomenon shows that it is indeed harder to search for

stable

Add an article

a stable

show examples

career

day

Add an article

the day

show examples

goes by, and

hence

it is important to secure a

job

as quickly as possible.

However

, there are actually more appropriate solutions to

this

problem that can be offered by the legislators so people can materialize their

dream

Fix the agreement mistake

dreams

show examples

. The simplest strategy would be boosting foreign investment in various areas.

Subsequently

, diverse

career

opportunities could be established and the rate

unemployment

Change preposition

of unemployment

show examples

could significantly fall. In conclusion, it is justifiable for current society to encourage oneself to take any opportunities that will secure them a

job

, including taking any offers even if it means not achieving their dream

job

Nevertheless

, there should be effective measures to resolve

this

highly competitive nature in

job

searching,

instead

of persisting people to always be in

this

situation.

Submitted by kinantiputriunique on Fri Jan 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Try to structure your essay in a more clear and logical manner, making sure each paragraph flows naturally into the next. Consider using a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clear. They should not only be present but also effectively bookend your argument, establishing your view in the introduction and summarizing the key points in the conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Develop your main points with more detailed explanations and supporting examples. Specific evidence or examples will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.

task achievement

Make sure to fully respond to all parts of the task. You've given your opinion, but ensure it addresses all aspects of the prompt, outlining the reasons behind your view convincingly throughout the essay.

task achievement

Express your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Work to ensure that every paragraph conveys a clear point, and the essay as a whole presents a strong, coherent argument. Consider varying sentence structures for better readability and impact.

task achievement

Incorporate relevant, specific examples to support your points. While general statements can set the stage, real-world examples, statistics, or personal anecdotes will give your essay more authority and persuasiveness.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

303 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and maths. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skill should be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Historically, the ability to read, write and do mathematics have been one of the most significant education disciplines. These are the three basic skills expected to be learnt and used in daily lives. However, with the increasingly pivotal role computers play in modern life, it is thought that a fourth skill should be added for computer usage. In my opinion, I fully agree with this idea as technology literacy has many benefits to society.
5
band
Some people believe that social networking sites have a considerably detrimental effect on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that social media websites have harmful effects on people and the community as a whole. However, I strongly disagree with the statement as social networking platforms can not only help individuals make more friends, but also provide a large platform for spreading information.
<4
band
The plans below show the sife of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The plans reveal the future redevelopment of a site of an airport by next year.
4
band
Development in technology causes environmental problems. Some people believe the solution to these problems is everyone accepts a simpler way of life, while others say that technology can solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
Nowadays, environmental problems are burgeoning day by day because of using modern technology. Some people think that individuals should lead their lives in normal way for solution. While others opine that decreasing these problems everyone should use technology. In this essay I will discuss both views. I, personally side with the latter view.
6.5
band
People living in large cites today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?
Nowadays individuals prefer to live in urban areas which gives rise to many issues in their daily routine. There are several problems but the most common ones are accommodation and pollution. However, I believe, that high authorities should take strict actions to tackle such problems like introducing the benefits of living in the countryside because of the clean environment.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and maths. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skill should be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that social networking sites have a considerably detrimental effect on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The plans below show the sife of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

People living in large cites today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?