Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #opportunity #secure #job #right #support

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Due to

Linking Words

the growth of

workforce

Correct article usage

the workforce

show examples

number, many people sought to settle for the first

job

Use synonyms

that

lands on

Wrong verb form

landed

show examples

them rather than pursuing their preferred

career

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

regard, I partially agree

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

Linking Words

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

noting the current

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

circumstance that erases

career

Use synonyms

options for many individuals. For the past few years, there has been an overflowing figure of

Correct article usage

the laborforce

show examples

laborforce

Correct your spelling

labour force

show examples

all around the world.

For example

Linking Words

in Indonesia, researchers predict that in 2026,

while

Linking Words

job

Use synonyms

opportunities will stay stagnant, there will still be a dramatic increase in the number of new workers.

As a result

Linking Words

, many

fresh-graduates

Correct your spelling

fresh graduates

show examples

are prone to joblessness,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

which can

cause

Verb problem

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

disrupt

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the national economy. In response,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

are

promoting

Verb problem

encouraging

show examples

younger generations to take any jobs that land on them once they have graduated. Evidently, many youngsters

also

Linking Words

pertain

Linking Words

this

Change preposition

to this

show examples

view in conducting

job

Use synonyms

-search.

For instance

Linking Words

, a number of surveys inform that there are many employees who choose to stay at their current office despite being dissatisfied with the environment.

This

Linking Words

phenomenon shows that it is indeed harder to search for

stable

Add an article

a stable

show examples

career

Use synonyms

day

Add an article

the day

show examples

goes by, and

hence

Linking Words

it is important to secure a

job

Use synonyms

as quickly as possible.

However

Linking Words

, there are actually more appropriate solutions to

this

Linking Words

problem that can be offered by the legislators so people can materialize their

dream

Fix the agreement mistake

dreams

show examples

. The simplest strategy would be boosting foreign investment in various areas.

Subsequently

Linking Words

, diverse

career

Use synonyms

opportunities could be established and the rate

unemployment

Change preposition

of unemployment

show examples

could significantly fall. In conclusion, it is justifiable for current society to encourage oneself to take any opportunities that will secure them a

job

Use synonyms

, including taking any offers even if it means not achieving their dream

job

Use synonyms

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, there should be effective measures to resolve

this

Linking Words

highly competitive nature in

job

Use synonyms

searching,

instead

Linking Words

of persisting people to always be in

this

Linking Words

situation.

Submitted by kinantiputriunique on Fri Jan 26 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to structure your essay in a more clear and logical manner, making sure each paragraph flows naturally into the next. Consider using a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clear. They should not only be present but also effectively bookend your argument, establishing your view in the introduction and summarizing the key points in the conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Develop your main points with more detailed explanations and supporting examples. Specific evidence or examples will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.

task achievement

Make sure to fully respond to all parts of the task. You've given your opinion, but ensure it addresses all aspects of the prompt, outlining the reasons behind your view convincingly throughout the essay.

task achievement

Express your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Work to ensure that every paragraph conveys a clear point, and the essay as a whole presents a strong, coherent argument. Consider varying sentence structures for better readability and impact.

task achievement

Incorporate relevant, specific examples to support your points. While general statements can set the stage, real-world examples, statistics, or personal anecdotes will give your essay more authority and persuasiveness.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

303 words

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Many people think that education in universities should be free for all students no matter what their financial background is. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the government should support the funds for the arts, while some other people suggest that the money should be used for public health and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many believe that social media platforms are exerting considerable adverse effects on their users in both individual and social aspects. Due to many reasons, I completely agree with this statement.

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree with this view?