Some people believe that success in life depends on hard work and determination, while others believe that other factors like money and personal appearance are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

It is believed by some that

success

can be achieved by hard

work

and

determination

whereas

others say that

money

and good looks can lead to

success

This

essay will discuss both these views. I personally believe that more often

success

comes from hard

work

and perseverance and only on some odd

occasion

Fix the agreement mistake

occasions

show examples

money

Add a missing verb

do money

show examples

and looks

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

play a role. The main reason why some people say that

determination

and hard

work

Verb problem

apply

show examples

an important

prerequisite

Fix the agreement mistake

prerequisites

show examples

for

success

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is that

determination

gives people an impetus

of setting

Change preposition

to set

show examples

up goals, which lead to

success

For example

, Marie Curie (Madame Curie) determined to finish her husband’s lifetime unfinished

work

after his death and eventually discovered radium.

Similarly

, hard

work

also

very important as without hard

work

determination

is of no value. It has been well said that ‘Genius is one

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

inspiration and ninety-nine

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

, perspiration’. Take the example of businessmen. Only those

succeed

Correct pronoun usage

who succeed

show examples

who have

determination

Add an article

the determination

show examples

and who put in a lot of sweat and toil

Change preposition

into

show examples

their business. Those who advocate that

money

and good looks are needed for

success

, believe that good looks increase the confidence of a

person

and

Correct word choice

that a

show examples

confident

person

has more chances to succeed in his life. With good looks a

person

can succeed in the acting and modelling fields. They

also

opine that

money

is needed to become an entrepreneur and those who have the capital to invest have more chances to succeed.

For example

, a

person

with lots of bank balance may sustain through any ups and downs in business and

finally

succeed, but any

person

without any financial backing may break down if his business goes through a bad phase.

To sum up

, I believe that

success

depends on how firmly people hold on to their

determination

and how much effort they put into their

work

. A powerful background of

money

as well as

attractive looks can help a certain number of

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

to succeed, but too much reliance on these is

unpractical

Replace the word

impractical

show examples

Submitted by aamenis on Fri Jan 26 2024

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task achievement

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Expand on your conclusion by synthesizing the discussion points more effectively and projecting forward, if possible.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

332 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
discipline
resilience
effort
tenacity
external factors
financial resources
favorable appearance
perceptions
advantages
intrinsic
extrinsic
sustainable
facilitating
undeniable

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Some people believe that success in life depends on hard work and determination, while others believe that other factors like money and personal appearance are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

nuclear power is far too dangerous, therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources such as hydroelectric power and solar energy.to what extent do you agree.

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You were recently disrespected by one of the employees at your local supermarket. Write a letter to the supermarket manager. In your letter • tell why you were speaking with the employee • describe the employee's rude behavior • explain what you'd like the manager to do

In order for the world to be a ‘greener’ place, punishment and fines for environmentally unfriendly acts committed by individuals need to be more severe. To what extent do you agree or disagree?