It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It's said that
people
to
choosing Change preposition
apply
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a higher risk option
higher risk options
higher risk
options when developing their Add a hyphen
higher-risk
career
and living their own Fix the agreement mistake
careers
lives
is crucial. Ibelieve
it brings more benefits than Correct your spelling
I believe
disvantages
when making risky decisions.
In terms of Correct your spelling
disadvantages
the
professional Change the word
their
lives
, taking risks
can help people
to develope
Correct your spelling
develop
career
more efficiently. First of all, accepting new Fix the agreement mistake
careers
challenge
Fix the agreement mistake
challenges
such
as leading difficult projects, taking more
responsibilities and learning to do different tasks can help employees show efforts to their manager, which will help build up a positive personal image in the workplace. Change preposition
on more
Moreover
, people
can get rewards such
as pay rises
and promotions when they accomplish those challenging tasks. These can help Correct your spelling
raises
people
to achieve their career
goal
more easily. Fix the agreement mistake
goals
Last
but not least, taking risks
is a neccessary
lesson Correct your spelling
necessary
to
those business owners who would like to develop their Change preposition
for
business
well.
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
Regarding taking
Change preposition
Taking
risks
in the
personal Change the word
their
lives
, it
can enrich Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
's lives
. People
who are willing to take risks
tend to explore on
different activities, which can open their eyes and help them gain exciting Change preposition
apply
experience
. Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
For example
, travelling abroad and playing extreme sports like skiing and diving. However
, there is a concern that it's likely to encounter more dangerous occassions
. Especially for those Correct your spelling
occasions
people
who love extreme sports, they are more easily to get injured then
the others.
In conclusion, taking Replace the word
than
risks
can be beneficial to people
in career
development and personal lives
, however
, people
needs
to Change the verb form
need
be considered
the consequences when selecting the risky option.Wrong verb form
consider
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use a range of cohesive devices but be cautious of overusing them.
logical structure
Your introduction should more clearly outline the main points that will be discussed. In your conclusion, be sure to summarize the main arguments presented in support of your view.
supported main points
Include more developed examples that directly support your argument. Specific, relevant examples will strengthen the response and make it easier for the reader to understand your viewpoint.
complete response
Focus on fully responding to all parts of the task. The question asks whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of taking risks, and your essay should provide a more balanced discussion of both sides.
clear comprehensive ideas
Elaborate on your points with clear explanations and avoid overly simplistic statements. Developing each point with comprehensive ideas will strengthen your essay.
relevant specific examples
Include more specific examples from your own knowledge or experience to support your argument, as this adds weight to your points and showcases a wider range of your English abilities.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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