IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the map show school map in 1985 & now. describe it

the map show school map in 1985 & now. describe it
This
Linking Words
 map illustrates the changes that have taken
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
 in a
school
Use synonyms
, showing the difference
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
 a
school
Use synonyms
 in 1985 and
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
. First and foremost, the
school
Use synonyms
 in 1985 had a total population of 1,500 people. Nowadays, the
school
Use synonyms
 have 2,500 people in total. There used to be a bigger parking lot for
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 in 1985 compared to what they have now.
However
Linking Words
, the
school
Use synonyms
 have more
classrom
Correct your spelling
classroom
 space now compared to
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1985 with only 2 storeys. Meanwhile, the
school
Use synonyms
 now have
classroom
Correct article usage
a classroom
show examples
 block with 3 storeys more classroom space nearby. Based on the image, it is shown that the resource centre and computer room they have now was originally a library in 1985.
Although
Linking Words
 the library has changed, the office near it remains the same. Moving on to the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 area, the
school
Use synonyms
 in 1985 had a larger field than it is now.
However
Linking Words
, the
school
Use synonyms
 in the present time have
pool
Add an article
a pool
show examples
 and and fitness centre, which are facilities that did not exist back in 1985.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
school
Use synonyms
 nowadays have better facilities and
larger
Add an article
a larger
the larger
show examples
 population
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 it was.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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