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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the map shows developments, which took place in the bookstore between 2000 and now.

the map shows developments, which took place in the bookstore between 2000 and now.
#developments #place #bookstore
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The plans show the
infastructure
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 of a bookstore in 2000 and its current status.
Overall
Linking Words
, It can be noticeable that a significant development in the bookstore since 2000.
According to
Linking Words
 the current plan it includes a cafe and others
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been relocated to different areas. In 2000,
Use synonyms
fiction
Correct article usage
the fiction
show examples
 books area was located
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
north
Add an article
the north
show examples
 which has been replaced by four sections;art,hobbies,cookery, and
fiction
Use synonyms
 which were at the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of
bookstore
Add an article
the bookstore
a bookstore
show examples
 .
And
Correct word choice
Also
show examples
also
Linking Words
, there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 another
fiction
Use synonyms
 section
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
North
Correct your spelling
Northeast
show examples
 east which
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
was also
show examples
 replaced by
non fictions
Correct your spelling
non-fiction
show examples
 books.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, art, hobbies and cookery books
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 located in 2000, but that location is allocated for a reference area with tables and chairs. It can be seen that the place where
non
Add a hyphen
non-fiction
show examples
fiction
Use synonyms
 section was located in 2000 , has been replaced by a cafe. Travel and new book area has not been changed over the years and entrance
also
Linking Words
 remains unchanged.
Submitted by Praslah on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fiction with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • depicts
  • changes
  • occurred
  • transformations
  • developments
  • span
  • visual
  • comparison
  • illustrates
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