IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

With all the problems in the world today, spending money on space exploration is a complete waste. The money could be better spent on other causes. To what extent do you agree with this view? Give reasons for your answer and give any relevant example or experience you have to support your answer.

#world #money #space #exploration #waste #support
Many people think it is nonsense to spend a huge amount of money on exploring
space
 activities , which I am a little bit disagree with
this
 statement and I will explain my point of view about
this
 statement.
firstly
, a major part of
space
 exploration is because of the reason , our world might not be suitable for future generations
due to
 the increasing amount of pollution and global warming.
As a result
, all
this
 exploration can lead to finding a planet that can be livable or
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
quite similar to Earth.
For example
, already many researchers said that Mars can be the next planet that we might live on after Earth is destroyed and they have to find a new place to start their life.
in addition
, exploring
space
 and planets can give us an enormous amount of information about our planet and other incidents that happen in
space
 and the way
these stuff
Change the determiner
this stuff
show examples
 can affect our life and our world,
for instance
, it was predicted that a
sunstorm
Correct your spelling
sandstorm
substorm
Sunstorm
 will be happening and it will affect the internet and make it weaker for some days and eventually it happened and everyone was ready so there were no major damages and hopefully it was handled very well and professionally.
To sum up
, saying that
these researches
Fix the agreement mistake
this research
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 a waste is meaningless because many of the important events were predicted by
this
 exploration and they saved and changed our lives in many ways that were possible and were good for humans.
Submitted by behnazahmadi2004 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider planning the structure of your essay carefully. Include a clear introduction, followed by body paragraphs, each with a clear main idea and concluding sentence, and finish with a thoughtful conclusion. Use a variety of linking words and topic sentences to guide your reader smoothly through your arguments.
task achievement
For task achievement, ensure you address all parts of the prompt. This means discussing the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explaining your reasoning with clear, relevant examples. Also, cover the implications of space exploration comprehensively and balance it with other potential allocations of resources to fully respond to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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