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Band 7

Inventors are not as important to society as doctors. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#inventors #society #doctors
It is undeniable that we are living in a world in which life has become easier, thanks to
inventions
 and experts. In fact, many people hold the notion that
inventors
 are not as important to society as well-qualified medical and other personnel. I, myself, agree with the idea that they are equally essential, which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. On the one hand,
inventors
 play an indispensable role in making life more comfortable.
Firstly
, save time, save energy, save
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
, and reduce our negative impact on the environment.
Secondly
,
inventors
 help people find new solutions to different problems, improve people’s lives, and come up with new products and services. They can invent new technologies, innovative products, more efficient production methods, solutions to environmental problems, and much more.
Inventors
 can
also
 help us explore and better understand the world around us.
On the other hand
,
doctors
 act as those who directly carry out the take using the mechanism invented by
inventors
. As for medical
inventions
,
doctors
 make things come true on a large scale.
Due to
 medical
inventions
,
doctors
 can help patients suffering from diseases that do not appear on the outside. Thanks to ECG machines, many people have been saved from heart failure and stroke. CT scanners help
doctors
 diagnose and treat many different diseases. In brief, every occupation functions as a cog in a machine. So, I suppose that every profession is the same, so between an inventor and a doctor, both are equally important, because today our society really needs those professions.
Inventors
 can invent many things for life and can
also
 invent medical
inventions
 to help
doctors
 quickly understand the disease. What actually matters is that
inventors
 and
doctors
 should join hands for the same purpose.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider adding more transition phrases and make sure that the logic flow is consistent throughout the essay. Also, refine topic sentences to directly relate to the question statement and provide clear transitions between them.
Task Achievement
For the task achievement, ensure that the essay directly addresses the question statement through a more pronounced argument or stance, particularly in the conclusion. More depth in the comparison between the roles of the inventor and doctor could strengthen the response. Adding one or two specific examples that demonstrate the contribution of inventors or doctors could provide a clearer comparison that backs up your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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