Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #business #company #organization #outweigh

Some

people

prefer to open their

business

instead

of working for others. In

this

essay, I will discuss the pros and cons of

this

notion. First and foremost, working for yourself and making your own

money

feel better for human beings. When

people

serve for a

company

or organisation for a long time, they might ask themselves sometimes why they make someone rich.

Furthermore

, when

people

work

for a

company

, there is always a small chance of getting a higher wage or

too

Add a missing verb

being too

show examples

slow to get what they really want about their salary.

However

, when you

work

for your own trading, you can earn

money

when you become successful.

For instance

, Elon Musk did decide to open his

business

and he is the richest businessman in the world now.

In contrast

, there are some disadvantages of having own

business

. First of all, it is very risky to find a space for your

company

in the industry you

work

For example

, you can lose your

money

easily if things go wrong and your fame is in the market.

Secondly

, it is highly unlikely a small possibility to beat bigger and

famous

Correct quantifier usage

more famous

show examples

companies in the market

while

they are already known worldwide. If new businesses do not have enough

money

to run their investment strongly, it is a big job to catch other companies or organizations. In conclusion, a significant number of

people

choose to establish their own

company

instead

of working for different companies or organizations. Opening your own

business

satisfies

people

as well as

makes them earn

money

when they achieve their goals.

However

this

idea stands risky and it needs great

work

to put the

company

in the right position

while

bigger's already run the sector by themselves.

Submitted by matillazeyrek on Sat Jan 27 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

To improve the logical structure of your essay, make sure that each paragraph follows a clear and consistent theme and that the transition between paragraphs is smooth. Use linking phrases to guide the reader through your argument.

coherence cohesion

Include an introduction and a conclusion that are more explicitly defined. Your introduction should provide a clear response to the essay question and introduce the main points you will discuss. Your conclusion should summarise your main points and restate your position on the topic to give a sense of closure.

coherence cohesion

To strengthen your main points, provide more specific and relevant examples that are directly linked to the advantages and disadvantages you discuss. This will help to make your arguments more convincing.

task achievement

Ensure your essay fully addresses the question by discussing both sides equally and providing a clear opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Show depth in your ideas by exploring the implications and potential outcomes of starting a business.

task achievement

Make use of a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. Avoid repeating the same words and phrases, and try to express your thoughts in a more varied and sophisticated manner.

task achievement

Be sure to provide relevant and detailed examples that support the claims you make. Use real-world scenarios, statistics, or studies to demonstrate your points and add authenticity to your arguments.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people believe that using taxpayer funds to look for life on other planets is important. Others, however, think that it is a waste of public money because there are much more important issues requiring funding on our own planet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Since the day human beings managed to set foot on the moon, the searches for extraterrestrial life and the coming disputes have been carried out continuously. While advocates believe that the government’s fiscal budget should be deployed on such expeditions, the opposing voice is frequently heard that those conducts should give way to emergencies related to people on Earth. In my opinion, looking for intelligent life beyond Earth is definitely meaningful, but focusing on human beings seems to have more practical significance.
5
band
All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?
It is discussed by many that vehicles which are used with electricity should be preferred instead of vehicles which are consumed fossil fuels, and fossil-consuming vehicles should be forbidden. I completely agree with that idea, because electricity is cheaper than fossil fuels and it is environment friendly.
4
band
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Many people nowadays believe that a child who take in a foreign language from an early age is better than a child at the teen years. While there are some drawbacks to obstruct, I maintain of the opinion that learning a second language at a young age are better than the older one.
8
band
6.You live in a small apartment building. You are frequently bothered by noise from your upstairs neighbor’s apartment. Write a letter to your neighbor. In your letter: Describe the situation Explain why it is a problem for you Suggest a solution.
I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to express my concerns about the problem associated with the noise from parties celebrated at your apartment recently. I understand that hosting a party is exciting and brings people closer together, but the noise has become quite disruptive, especially at late night.
8
band
Online education is becoming more and more popular. Some people claim that e-learning has so many benefits that it will replace face-to-face learning. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Attending lectures and studying online is the new trend as it is cost effective and less stressful. While some individuals think that the class-room way of learning cannot be replaced by online-learning. In my opinion, the latter is the case as e-learning will gradually phase out all forms of face-to-face learning.

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Some people believe that using taxpayer funds to look for life on other planets is important. Others, however, think that it is a waste of public money because there are much more important issues requiring funding on our own planet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

6.You live in a small apartment building. You are frequently bothered by noise from your upstairs neighbor’s apartment. Write a letter to your neighbor. In your letter: Describe the situation Explain why it is a problem for you Suggest a solution.

Online education is becoming more and more popular. Some people claim that e-learning has so many benefits that it will replace face-to-face learning. Discuss both views and give your opinion.