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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some parts of the world, traditional food is being replaced by fast food. This is having a negative impact on families and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is widely argued that traditional
food
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 is being replaced by fast
food
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 in many parts of the world.
While
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 some people believe that
this
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 change is a natural result of modern lifestyles, I agree with the view to a large extent that it has a negative impact on families and society.
This
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 essay will explain the main reasons for my position. The first reason why I hold
this
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 view is that fast
food
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 can harm people's
health
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.
In other words
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, it often contains excessive amounts of fat, sugar, and salt.
For example
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, individuals who frequently consume burgers, pizzas, and soft drinks are more likely to suffer from obesity and heart disease. Another important reason is that traditional family meals are becoming less common.
This
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 means that family members spend less time together and have fewer opportunities to communicate.
As a result
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, it is reasonable to argue that fast
food
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 negatively affects both physical
health
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 and family relationships. Admittedly, opponents may claim that fast
food
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 is convenient and saves time, because it can be prepared and served quickly.
However
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,
this
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 argument is less convincing, since the long-term
health
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 risks and the loss of cultural
food
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 traditions outweigh the short-term benefits of convenience.
Therefore
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, despite the opposing view, I still believe that replacing traditional
food
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 with fast
food
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 is harmful to families and society. In conclusion,
although
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 there is some truth in the argument that fast
food
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 offers convenience, I strongly believe that its increasing popularity has a negative impact on families and society.
This
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 is mainly because it damages people's
health
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 and weakens family bonds. Word Count: 255 words (approximately) Estimated IELTS Band: 7.0–7.5 if written accurately in the exam.

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task response
Add one more clear example to make your main idea stronger.
task response
Explain a little more how fast food hurts society, not only families.
task response
Your ideas are clear, but some points could be developed more fully.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is very good.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more care so the essay feels more natural.
coherence and cohesion
The second body part is quite short, so balance your paragraphs more.
task response
You answer the question clearly and show your opinion from the start.
task response
Your main ideas stay on topic and are easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a strong conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea, so the essay is easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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