The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #health #future

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Some

people

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say that

people

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's standard of

health

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is going to decrease in the future compared to now.

This

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essay fully agrees with

this

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statement, for the reason of two lifestyle patterns

that

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Change the verb form

are

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becoming increasingly prominent, which

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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the lack of exercise and the high consumption of

instant

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foods.

People

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spend most of their time on their

desk

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desks

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, looking at screens, and are not spending time outside exercising. We work or study using laptops, we talk to our friends with our phones, and we end the day by watching some movies on our

tablet

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tablets

show examples

. Compared to the older generations, we spend so much time glued to our devices, and

as a consequence

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, we move a lot less. Exercising is one of the main ways to take care of your

health

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, and not doing so leads to

health

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issues

such

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as back pain. A recent study shows that back pain from sitting too much is one of the main issues that

people

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Change preposition

between

show examples

the

age

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ages

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of 25-

Correct word choice

and 30

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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having. Not only that, the

food

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that we consume

also

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affects the quality

our

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of our

show examples

health

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directly. A lot of

people

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are relying on fast

food

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instant

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food

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for most of their meals because of the convenience and affordability. These

kind

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kinds

show examples

Use synonyms

food

Fix the agreement mistake

foods

show examples

are full of additives and

does

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not have the nutrients that our body needs. Aside from that,

instant

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foods are

also

Linking Words

a lot harder for our body to digest compared to fresh foods, leading to a variation of stomach problems,

such

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as indigestion and GERD to name a few. A survey from a few months back showed that

instant

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food

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made up over than half of the

food

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that university students consumed, with

instant

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ramen being the top

food

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choice. In conclusion,

this

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essay agrees that

people

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's general

health

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standard is going to lower in the future

Remove the comma

apply

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because they are not exercising enough and not consuming healthy

food

Use synonyms

Submitted by acupofbrownsugar on Sat Jan 27 2024

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supported main points

Ensure that main points are expanded with more specific examples and clear explanations to enhance support and depth.

task achievement

To strengthen the task response, provide a more nuanced argument with a range of perspectives and a more detailed exploration of the reasons behind the decline in health standards.

coherence cohesion

While the essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion, try to utilize a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the logical flow of ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Standard of health
2. Average
3. Lower
4. Future
5. Aging population
6. Chronic diseases
7. Sedentary lifestyle
8. Lack of exercise
9. Poor dietary habits
10. Environmental pollution
11. Technological advancements
12. Impact on health

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The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Your opinion

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

The top priority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is better to build new museums and town halls instead of renovating the old ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people aroung the world use social media every day to keep in touch with others people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Some People think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?