The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Some
people
say that people
's standard of health
is going to decrease in the future compared to now. This
essay fully agrees with this
statement, for the reason of two lifestyle patterns that
is
becoming increasingly prominent, which Change the verb form
are
is
the lack of exercise and the high consumption of Correct subject-verb agreement
are
instant
foods.
People
spend most of their time on their desk
, looking at screens, and are not spending time outside exercising. We work or study using laptops, we talk to our friends with our phones, and we end the day by watching some movies on our Fix the agreement mistake
desks
tablet
. Compared to the older generations, we spend so much time glued to our devices, and Fix the agreement mistake
tablets
as a consequence
, we move a lot less. Exercising is one of the main ways to take care of your health
, and not doing so leads to health
issues such
as back pain. A recent study shows that back pain from sitting too much is one of the main issues that people
by
the Change preposition
between
age
of 25-Fix the agreement mistake
ages
30
Correct word choice
and 30
is
having.
Not only that, the Correct subject-verb agreement
are
food
that we consume also
affects the quality our
Change preposition
of our
health
directly. A lot of people
are relying on fast food
or instant
food
for most of their meals because of the convenience and affordability. These kind
of Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
food
are full of additives and Fix the agreement mistake
foods
does
not have the nutrients that our body needs. Aside from that, Correct subject-verb agreement
do
instant
foods are also
a lot harder for our body to digest compared to fresh foods, leading to a variation of stomach problems, such
as indigestion and GERD to name a few. A survey from a few months back showed that instant
food
made up over than half of the food
that university students consumed, with instant
ramen being the top food
choice.
In conclusion, this
essay agrees that people
's general health
standard is going to lower in the future,
because they are not exercising enough and not consuming healthy Remove the comma
apply
food
.Submitted by acupofbrownsugar
on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
supported main points
Ensure that main points are expanded with more specific examples and clear explanations to enhance support and depth.
task achievement
To strengthen the task response, provide a more nuanced argument with a range of perspectives and a more detailed exploration of the reasons behind the decline in health standards.
coherence cohesion
While the essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion, try to utilize a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the logical flow of ideas.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?