You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement, and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter, •describe the situation •explain your problems and why it is difficult to work •say what kind of accommodation you would prefer

#room #college #student #arrangement #work #accommodation #officer #•describe #situation #•explain #•say

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Dear Sir or Mamda, I am writing

this

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letter to discuss a problem between me and my roommate and would like to know if it is possible to have a rearrangement as soon as possible. I currently share my room with another girl, Ari, who is from Japan, and we have a totally different lifestyle. I am a morning person so I always go to bed early in the night, yet Ari always brings her friends over the place during the evening and plays games loudly until midnight.

As a result

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, I can hardly fall asleep when they are in the living room talking loudly.

This

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led to serious burnout for me as I find it difficult to focus on my studies because I am so sleepy. If there is any single room left in the building that can be arranged for me, I would be very appreciative. Please feel free to respond at your earliest convenience. Yours sincerely, Yuyi

Submitted by yuyi981121 on Sat Jan 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear logical structure by connecting ideas more seamlessly with a wider range of linking phrases.

coherence cohesion

Develop ideas more thoroughly in each paragraph to fully support your situation and needs.

task achievement

Complete the task more effectively by summarizing your concerns and re-emphasizing your request for new accommodation.

task achievement

Maintain an appropriate and polite tone throughout the letter; you can enhance politeness by adding a thank you note or expressing your hopes for a positive resolution.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

160 words

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