You are interested in attending a training course abroad but require financial support to do so. Write a letter to the education department requesting financial assistance. In your letter: - Introduce yourself - Describe the training course and how it would benefit your work - Explain why you need financial assistance.

#course #support #education #department #assistance #work

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Dear Sir/Madam I hope

this

Linking Words

email finds you well. I am a junior employee in the mechanical department under the supervision of Mr. John. My employee ID is 3755 and I have been working for two years. I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter to a request for an employee training program scheme, a pilot project by the federal government for advancement in the Mechanical engineering sector.

This

Linking Words

is a 4-week long program in England which would benefit the learner to understand the new technology of the NV5 machine. Our company is planning to purchase a new tool manufacturing machine,

this

Linking Words

course

Use synonyms

would help me understand its programming and working and increase our proficiency and production.

Further

Linking Words

, I would request you to assist me with my

course

Use synonyms

fees and expenditures. As a junior worker, it's difficult for me to bear these expenses and I have a family of three members to support.

This

Linking Words

course

Use synonyms

would not only benefit me but

also

Linking Words

increase the company's potential. I would be able to teach other employees after the

course

Use synonyms

which would cut the

overall

Linking Words

cost of training the fellow workers. I hope to hear from you soon. Your's

faithfully

Replace the adverb

faithful

show examples

, Amarjot Kaur

Submitted by amarjot755 on Wed Jul 17 2024

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grammar

Consider proofreading for minor grammatical errors, such as 'your's' which should be 'yours'.

cohesion

Introduce transitional phrases for stronger cohesion between paragraphs.

tone

The letter is polite and uses a suitable formal tone throughout.

organization

The structure is well-organized with each relevant point clearly addressed.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

196 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial assistance
professional development
enhance skills
tuition fees
travel expenses
accommodation
current role
directly related
performance at work
organization
burden
opportunity
institution
skills and knowledge
benefit
related costs
attendance
support

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