An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

In
this
contemporary era,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
countries
are faced with a brain drain problem, and a lot of paramount people are migrating to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developed
countries
. There are several reasons that cause the problems, so I would like to analyze the problems and solutions in the essay.  
To begin
with, the phenomenon is that in poor
countries
, professionals do not get opportunities to perform their abilities, and they do not get satisfaction from their salaries.  
For example
, in unrich
countries
, there is a scarcity of financial resources to expand the fields.
For example
, in the medical sector, doctors have to do some professional practice, but because the compensation is inadequate, they have to cease their projects. For the latter, because of the country's conditions, professionals can only receive a dwindling of wages.
Therefore
, to
leave
Correct your spelling
live
show examples
a poor life, the only thing they can do is migrate to rich
countries
.   To overcome
this
situation, the government and private companies have to bear the burden of supporting the people who work in the
nobel
Correct your spelling
noble
Nobel
occupation,
such
as teachers, doctors, and nurses. The authorities and richest businessmen have to provide subsidies to them rather than
investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
show examples
in entertainment fields. Nowadays, people pay more attention to entertainment, so they ignore
this
vitally important field's development.
Consequently
, governments should impose a strong law mainly to give financial aid to
countries
that have more effects on the country's development.   In conclusion, the professional immigration problem is very common in
this
society. To reduce those cases, all of society has to take obligations and pay attention to the education and medical fields' progress.
Submitted by haixiuxiaonini on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea. The current essay sometimes mixes different points in a single paragraph, causing confusion.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing your main points with clearer and more specific examples. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Make sure your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Consider both the problems caused by the migration of professionals and the potential solutions throughout the essay. The balance between these can be improved.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the cohesion of the essay. This will make the essay flow better and connect ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Consider restructuring the essay to include an introductory paragraph that introduces the topic and outlines the essay structure, followed by distinct paragraphs for issues and solutions, and a concluding paragraph to summarize your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brain drain
  • Skilled professionals
  • Healthcare systems
  • Education systems
  • Economic growth
  • Dependency on foreign aid
  • Social inequality
  • Quality healthcare
  • Quality education
  • Retain talent
  • International cooperation
  • Sustainable growth
  • Scholarships
  • Professional development
  • Remote work capabilities
  • Local research funding
What to do next:
Look at other essays: