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Band 6.5

Students should pay full cost for their own study , because university education benefits individual rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#students #cost #study #university #education #society
A majority of people believe that students should invest all their money in their own safety because a
university
 education has more advantages than
society
.
This
 essay disagrees with the statement and explains it in the following paragraphs. The first thing we cannot deny is that nowadays most of the family pay their fortune for
university
 to ensure that their children have a good way to succeed. But the one thing they should know is not the only way to success.
Instead
 of studying in
university
, their children can approach
society
 to become more mature.
Although
 getting qualifications for applying for jobs they still lack experience, so
society
 may be not a good choice but it can gain benefits from its way.
For instance
, Bill Gates who is a billionaire gave his studies when he was in
university
, and he chose to work soon, after lots of years outside
society
 he not only became a billionaire but
also
 gained huge experiences. Continuing with other factors, when children study at school, their
relationships
 only with their friends and teachers
as a result
 they will reset their
relationships
 after graduation. Opposite to that,
society
 is the best thing to spread
relationships
.
According to
 research in the modern era, our work mostly depends on social
relationships
.
Furthermore
, people who have more experience can make
relationships
 better than those who do not know everything. Taking everything into account, depending on the parent which they choose is still the best option for their child. Both
university
 and
society
 all gain benefits in different ways and the successful is always depends on your own.
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Introduction
To improve clarity and impact, focus on directly responding to the essay question from the beginning. Your introductory paragraph should clearly state your position on the subject.
Examples
Support your main points with more specific examples or evidence. While mentioning Bill Gates supports your argument, adding more detailed examples could strengthen your overall point.
Flow and Logic
Work on developing a more logical flow between ideas. Transition words and phrases can help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
Conclusion
The conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position more clearly, reflecting a thorough conclusion to the discussion.
Sentence Variety
You have effectively used a mix of simple and complex sentences to convey your ideas.
Balanced Argument
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is good for fully engaging with the essay topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tertiary education
  • employability
  • economic growth
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • public funding
  • research and development
  • prosperity
  • equity in education
  • innovation
  • high earning potential
  • personal development
  • educated workforce
  • exacerbating
  • accessibility
  • public good
  • qualified individuals
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