IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays more and more people have access to the Internet. But constant availability of any information worsens people’s memory and critical thinking skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #access #internet #availability #information #people’s #memory #skills
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Opinion is divided when it comes to the negative influences
of
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apply
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the
Correct determiner usage
that
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 endemic access to the
internet
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have
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has
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 inflicted on
people
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's
memory
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 and critical thinking.
With
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From
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 my standpoint, I partly
disgree
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disagree
 with
this
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 statement and
this
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 essay will give
further
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information
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. Admittedly, it is essential to acknowledge that the
internet
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 does present some
challeges
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challenges
 to
memory
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retetion
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retention
. The ease by which
information
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 can be retrieved may render
human's
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human
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behaviors
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behaviours
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more lazy
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lazier
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 when researching and absorbing
knowledge
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.
In other words
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, some of them currently
have depended
Wrong verb form
depend
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 on
this
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 platform without finding measures to resolve the problems, even with simple calculations and basic
datas
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data
.
This
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 trend acts as a
deterent
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deterrent
 for many individuals to delve deeper into the essence of
knowledge
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 and foster cognitive,
intellectual
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and intellectual
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 skills. Notwithstanding the aforementioned
arguements
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arguments
, I am of the opinion that those challenges may be effectively ironed out if
people
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 tailor their behaviors judiciously to utilize the sources of
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Internet
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the Internet
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.
Firstly
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, it is evident that the
internet
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 is a vast expanse of
datas
Correct your spelling
data
 and viewpoints and most
people
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 nowadays usually conduct many tasks through
this
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 platform.
Therefore
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, users are frequently compelled to evaluate the creditability of
datas
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data
, understand multiple perspectives and
synthesizes
Correct subject-verb agreement
synthesize
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 them to form a
conherent
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coherent
 view.
During
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This
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this
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 process,
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this
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apply
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entails the discernment and analysis
from
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of
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people
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and
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apply
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thereby fostering and supporting them to acquire
knowledge
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 deeper and nurture critical thinking
skill
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skills
show examples
.
Secondly
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, users can
also
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 leverage the diversity and inclusivity of the
information
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 on the
internent
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Internet
 that has been provided to bolster
memory
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 and develop personal competencies. Educational platforms, online courses and problem-solving
game
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games
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 can aid in
strengethening
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strengthening
 these cognitive functions.
For instance
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, some
website
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websites
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 like
quizlet
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Quizlet
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has
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have
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 implemented flashcard
technique
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techniques
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 for
people
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 to revise and absorb
knowledge
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 on the
internet
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, it
also
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 incorporates some puzzle games for them to practice and develop their critical thinking. In conclusion,
while
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 the concerns regarding the
internet
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impairs
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impair
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people
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's
memory
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 and critical thinking are true to some extent.
Is
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It
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 is likely to become incumbent upon the users to utilize the
internet
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 to learn and consolidate
information
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 more effectively and enhance cognitive skills.
Submitted by ruozzo3095 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use a variety of cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively, ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next.
task achievement
For task achievement, ensure that your position is consistently clear throughout the essay. Expand on your examples by providing more detailed and specific scenarios that directly support your viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
To boost your score, you can also work on varying your sentence structures more, to show complexity without sacrificing clarity. Additionally, proofread your essay to correct minor spelling and grammar errors.
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