The restoration of old buildings in major cities throughout the world involves enormous expenditure. This money would bring more benefits if it was used to provide new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#restoration #buildings #cities #world #expenditure #money #road #development

The allocation of budget to restoring old buildings in big cities in the world results in the use of a huge amount of money.

However

, using the money to build new housing and develop a

road

system would be more valuable. I totally agree with the statement owing to the positive impacts that individuals could get. Since the massive increase in population requires proper housing management and

road

development, investing in public necessities may have various impacts.

Firstly

, a high-density population leads to the increasing need for houses to live in order to reduce unsheltered citizens.

Secondly

, a congested

road

also

requires the development of a

road

to avoid traffic problems.

For instance

, most of part of the world is facing a pressing problem reflecting on the number of homeless and congestion in the

road

Therefore

, The key players in

such

a problem are authorities who could create a policy to allocate more funds to new housing and

road

development.

Furthermore

, preserving the historical building may keep the existence of history, but improving the quality of life through providing a new residence area and developing the

road

could increase the productivity of people in each country. To illustrate, people may find it easy to find a place near their workplace which will influence their work performance.

In addition

, a good quality of

road

management can positively affect people's commuting activities.

For example

, good access to a particular place can encourage visitors to come and will unconsciously contribute to the economic rise of those who live in that area. In conclusion,

although

the investment in old sites could be valuable for the historical aspect, the most important one is paying more attention to the public needs which could have a direct impact on their quality of life.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Sat Dec 09 2023

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Maintain a clear position throughout your response. It sometimes appears that you are presenting both sides of the argument without clearly indicating where your opinion lies.

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Work on the fluency of your essay by improving transitions and the logical progression of ideas throughout paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clear and distinct, encapsulating your overall argument effectively.

coherence cohesion

You could enhance the coherence by better connecting your main points with supporting sentences that illustrate your viewpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The restoration of old buildings in major cities throughout the world involves enormous expenditure. This money would bring more benefits if it was used to provide new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

some people believe that public buildings should be move out of the city to promote citizen's well-being and better growth, while some argue that the planning will cause more harm than good. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.