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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Cultures around the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative trend?

As humanity continues to progress in terms of technology, ideas, travel, and communication, it is observed that
cultures
Use synonyms
 in different places are gradually becoming similar.
This
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 is attributed to the influence of social
media
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, from highly developed
countries
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 to underdeveloped ones. The merging of
cultures
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 is a negative trend because it takes away cultural diversity.  
To begin
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, one of the driving causes of cultural similarity is the huge influence of the internet. As access to social
media
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 in different
countries
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 increases, people from all nations can gain knowledge and form new ideas.
This
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 information interchange results in the acceptance and integration of cultural practices, norms, and values.
Furthermore
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, social
media
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 allows people to voice their thoughts, learn knowledge, and socialise, which improves cultural exchange and assimilation.
For instance
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, TikTok has gained a larger audience, spanning over 160
countries
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 and 1.1 billion users. On
this
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 platform, influencers and famous creators start trends relating to the arts, new slang and terms, and behaviours among younger generations.   The second reason why traditions are becoming closer is because some poorer nations imitate richer ones. They strive to achieve the same economic position by adopting and learning from their technologies and practices. Poor
countries
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 do
this
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 by importing technology, machinery, and equipment from wealthy
countries
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. They may
also
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 send their citizens abroad to learn and obtain skills through education and training programmes in wealthier nations.
Furthermore
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, impoverished
countries
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 may form allies and collaborate with affluent
countries
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 to improve knowledge transfer and exchange.
Thus
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 leading to more indistinctiveness between
countries
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.  
This
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 is a negative development because there will be less and less uniqueness between
cultures
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, which will result in a decrease in tourism and
hence
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 a financial issue. If every country shares the same traditions, there will be nothing that distinguishes it from other
countries
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.
This
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 will lead to a decline in tourists since there are no attractions. Tourism in a lot of
countries
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,
such
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 as Macau or the Maldives, is a big source of income;
therefore
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, they will suffer significant economic losses if there
were
Wrong verb form
is
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 no tourism.   In essence, various
cultures
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 are rapidly becoming more similar.
This
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 is
due to
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 the influence of social
media
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 and the transfer of wealth from developed to developing
countries
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.
Culture
Replace the word
Cultural
show examples
 blending is a harmful tendency since it reduces cultural diversity.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to use a clear paragraph structure to present your ideas in a logical order. Use topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph, and follow up with supporting details and examples.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction that clearly states your overall position and a conclusion that summarizes your main points and reiterates your viewpoint. This strengthens the cohesion of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Develop each main point with supported arguments, explanations, and examples. The essay introduces ideas but could include more specific examples to illustrate the points effectively.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Present a balanced discussion of the reasons for cultural similarity and its effects, and make sure to cover positive and negative aspects if the question requires.
task achievement
Your ideas should be expressed clearly and comprehensively. Aim to clarify your arguments and consider exploring various perspectives to enhance the depth of the essay.
task achievement
Use relevant, specific examples to back up your points. While the use of TikTok as an example is a good start, incorporating additional real-world examples can provide stronger support and depth to your arguments.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Cultural exchange
  • Homogenization
  • Multinational companies
  • Cultural elements
  • Dissemination
  • Social media platforms
  • International tourism
  • Cultural norms
  • Urbanization
  • Modernization
  • Convergence
  • Cultural blending
  • Cultural diversity
  • Media influence
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