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Band 7

scientists and news media are pesenting ever more evidence of climate. Government can not expect to solve this problem. It is the responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyle to prevent further damage. give your opinion

#scientists #news #media #evidence #climate #government #responsibility #individuals #change #lifestyle #damage
In
this
 contemporary era, to increasing population and sharp escalation of globalisation affect highly on the climate. The above statement claims that the authority is not responsible for the same. It is the sole responsibility of people to change their lifestyle to prevent
further
 dismissive effects.
However
, in my opinion, it should be the shared responsibility of both.
This
 essay shall justify my opinion in the ensuing paragraphs. To commence with, it is an inevitable fact that weather change has many detrimental effects on the world
such
 as global warming, which is highly
due to
 man-made activities. The major reason behind
this
 is the remarkable increase in industrialisation and automobiles play a significant role in spreading pollution.
In addition
, in industries biogas plants which are located near to city area are involved in the subsequent damage to the city's atmosphere.
Moreover
, people are living a sedentary lifestyle and they are not doing even a small activity in their life without using their private vehicle which directly leads to air pollution. Both things take control if they can
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
 in the limit, for that individual needs some imlimantory laws or self-realisation.
For instance
, The influence of small , consistent actions by individuals helps them on a large scale
such
 as reducing carbon footprint by managing industrial gases and adopting a sustainable lifestyle.
Furthermore
, the role of education and awareness in motivating people
likewise
 play a pivotal role.
On the other hand
, government policies and enforcement act as a guiding framework without them it would be very critical to be managed alone by individual action.
Firstly
, the government should implement laws
such
 as setting industrialisation and always behave in the designated area which should not harm the masses in a residential setting.
Secondly
, introducing a more reliable public transport system helps populations to reduce their usage of their own vehicles. In conclusion,
this
 is the collective responsibility of both parties, which can not be managed by sole efforts.
Submitted by joshiami7570 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion on the shared responsibility of governments and individuals in tackling climate change. However, making your main points more distinct and directly linked to the question can improve clarity and effectiveness. Consider using clearer topic sentences that directly answer the questions posed.
coherence cohesion
While your essay introduces and concludes your opinion well, it could benefit from a more structured development of ideas. Consider using a clearer paragraph structure, with each paragraph focusing on one main idea, supported by specific examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
To enhance cohesion, make use of a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. Also, ensure that each paragraph transitions logically to the next, maintaining the flow of your argument throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accountability
  • conserving energy
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainable lifestyles
  • governmental interventions
  • environmental movements
  • renewable energy
  • corporate sustainability
  • economic incentives
  • consumer choices
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