IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity. How far do you share this viewpoint?

#everybody #amount #income #support #charity
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supporting
charity
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 is a Humanitarian action which is recommended to everyone in all societies.
Furthermore
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, some
people
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 believe that everybody must spend a part of their
income
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 to help
charities
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.
However
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, it seems it is somehow mandatory for
people
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 to give their
money
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 on something they do not want to even if it is a good deed. The essay will give some reasons for
this
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 claim. The leading disagreement with donating a portion of wages to
charities
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 is because every person does not have an equal
income
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such
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 as the difference in the
income
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 between a worker and a businessman so it is not feasible to ask all
people
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 to give a fixed part of their salaries to help
charities
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.
For instance
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, some workers have unbearable challenges with their daily living expenses and it is not advisable for them to help others monthly.
Moreover
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, some
people
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 might want to save a portion of their salary for their retirement to have a safe life without any help. If they spend their
money
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 on
charity
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 by force, they will be helpless in the future.
On the other hand
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, if everybody contributed a fixed amount of their expenses towards
charity
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, it could improve the lives of
people
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 living in poverty.
However
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, philanthropy cannot be forced; it depends on their willingness and earnings. Even though helping the
charity
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 is a great thing to do and most of us may support these organs by our own will, making it a rule might ruin many
people
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’s lives. In conclusion, supporting
charities
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 is a nice thing to do but forcing all the
people
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 at different levels of society is not fair as some of them have problems matching their
income
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 with their living needs or the other ones just do not spend their
money
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 to help the
charity
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due to
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 saving
money
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 for their future.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
You have a clear central position throughout the essay, which is good. However, you need to work on developing your main points with more detailed explanations and relevant examples. Try to include at least one specific example to illustrate each main point.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an understandable structure with an introduction and a conclusion. To improve, make sure your paragraphs clearly separate your ideas and more effectively utilize cohesive devices (e.g., linking words, pronouns, etc.). This will help in following your argument without effort.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic equality
  • Wealth gap
  • Redistributing resources
  • Social responsibility
  • Mandatory donations
  • Financial strain
  • Voluntary donations
  • Morality
  • Ethics
  • Efficient use of resources
  • Sporadic contributions
  • Implementation challenges
  • Compliance
  • Fixed amount
What to do next:
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