IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

To what extent has the internet made life more convenient? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The
internet
Use synonyms
 has reshaped
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern society by accelerating our everyday rhythm of life.
While
Linking Words
 it
undeniably
Verb problem
has undeniably
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had
Wrong verb form
apply
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made some aspects easier, though some challenges remain.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
internet
Use synonyms
 is now the main way of communication between people, a reality that
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 been hard to imagine for previous generations who had been forced to make a significant effort in order to deliver a message.
Moreover
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, it
conservates
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conserves
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 an enormous amount of information and knowledge on diverse topics, shared on platforms which can be easily accessed by anyone. The research one should have previously done in order to investigate a specific question, using the limited sources that a library offered, is now completed within minutes.
In addition
Linking Words
, with the revolution of Artificial Intelligence that was integrated in the search engine of any existing browser, it not only presents the required details but is
also
Linking Words
 capable
to analyze
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of analysing
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 the data,
make
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making
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 predictions and
share
Wrong verb form
sharing
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 useful resources.
From
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In
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 my opinion, the most significant consequence
since
Change preposition
of
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 the integration of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 in out daily life is the
time saving
Correct your spelling
time-saving
 component, as many routine tasks can be rapidly completed within seconds
Linking Words
such
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, such
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 as
:
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apply
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 paying the bills or sending a message to a loved one. Personally, I rely on online merchants, especially those selling clothing and cosmetic products, as it simplifies the process and saves time that can be
spend
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spent
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 on more important activities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the partial transition to an online way of living is demonstrating some serious consequences
that
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 affecting people’s mental health.
For example
Linking Words
, children can be easily influenced by any sort of content shared on the
internet
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, which can become a
thread
Use the right word
threat
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 considering the algorithms that
a build
Wrong verb form
are built
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 to deliver the desired information. In
this
Linking Words
 way, the government should revise the existing policies and come up with solutions that would protect the final consumer. In conclusion, the
internet
Use synonyms
 has made life more convenient by improving communication and access to services. It is essential
we
Correct word choice
that we
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 balance its use in order to not
lose
Verb problem
to lose
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 the connection with reality.

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task response
Give a clearer answer in the first paragraph. Say if the internet has made life convenient to a large extent or only in part.
task response
Add one more clear example to support your main ideas, such as online study, online work, or online health care.
task response
Explain your second main point more fully. The part about mental health is relevant, but it needs more detail and a stronger link to convenience.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph so the reader can follow your ideas more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking is not smooth. Join ideas in a simpler way and avoid very long sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main idea, then add support and an example before moving to the next point.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give a clear ending.
task response
You include personal experience, which helps support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear paragraph plan with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas follow a logical order from benefits to problems.
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