IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

To what extent has the internet made life more convenient? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, the
internet
Use synonyms
extended
Verb problem
has extended
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among the world rapidly
Correct word order
rapidly around the world
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 in a way that
made
Verb problem
has made
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 our lives easier and more convenient. With the help of the
internet
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, the number of social media platforms and many other apps, like online shopping apps or any other service have increased. In my opinion, the idea of a way of communicating and other things like freelance
working
Replace the word
work
 has advantages and disadvantages. I will try to state them.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
internet
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 has brought many changes to people that make us
a
Verb problem
use a
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new way of managing our
time
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 and energy to other things
instead
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 of trying to do everything with the hope that
at the end
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 of the
day
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day,
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 we surely can do all the tasks. With just a simple
internet
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 connection, you can talk to anybody or even shop online to save more
time
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, when you need to ask someone or look for something, you can type it on your phone, tablet, or laptop, and you don’t need to waste
time
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 because every process is
digitalized
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digitalised
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.
Secondly
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, a simple connection made with the help of a cable doesn’t guarantee that you are safe and that all your data is secured. In
this
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case
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case,
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 it may appear
a
Change preposition
as a
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cybernetic attack or a virus that can destroy your device. The
internet
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 is never safe and does not offer the assurance that everything will go
according to
Linking Words
 your expectations.
For example
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, you click on a website that can give you money only by playing a game or anything else,
at the
Linking Words
end
Add a comma
end,
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 it will steal your credit card data
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 you will be scammed. In conclusion, the
internet
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 has made our lives more convenient. It
also
Linking Words
 has advantages like instant communication and saving
time
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,
in
Linking Words
contrast
Punctuation problem
contrast,
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 it has disadvantages like viruses
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 all your data can be stolen if you are not
secured
Replace the word
secure
 enough.

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task response
Score: 5. You answer the question, but you do not fully show “to what extent”. Say more clearly how far you agree. For example: “The internet has made life much more convenient, although users must be careful online.”
task response
Your first main point is good, but it needs more full support. Explain how online services save time in daily life, such as paying bills, booking a visit, studying, or working from home.
task response
The second part is mostly about danger, not convenience. It is still linked to the topic, but make the link clear: online crime can make life less easy because people may lose money or need to spend time fixing a problem.
task response
Use one more clear, real example. For example, you could say that people can order food or buy a train ticket at home instead of going to a shop or station.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 5. Your order is easy to see, but some long sentences have too many ideas. Split them into shorter sentences so the meaning is clear.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph start with one clear main idea. For example: “One major way the internet saves time is through online services.” Then give an example and explain it.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas are not clear. The first paragraph says the internet has both good and bad sides, but the question asks mainly about convenience. Keep returning to the main question in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Your ending repeats the main points well. Make it stronger by giving a final clear answer, such as: “Overall, the internet has made life far more convenient, but people should use it safely.”
task response
You give a clear main view: the internet makes life easier, mainly by saving time and helping people talk and shop online.
task response
You use examples, such as online shopping, talking to people, and risks from unsafe sites.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Firstly”, “Secondly”, “For instance”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your ideas.
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