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Writing Samples
Band 5

The pictures illustrate the changes in Shipsmouth between 1995 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#pictures #changes #shipsmouth #information #features #comparisons
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The two pictures demonstrate the changes, wich have taken place in Shipsmouth between 1995 and 2010.
Overall
, it appears that there had been a significant modernization, with new infrastructures and amenities. A notable change is that the factory was demolished, and the shopping centre had been constructed
instead
. There used to be green space on the northwest side of the town, which had been knocked down, and apartment blocks had been built. Another striking change is that the church was pulled down, and a new pub had been replaced. There used to be houses on the east side of the city, which had been turned
n to
Correct your spelling
into
 skyscrapers.
Moreover
, there used to be one train station in the south, but another station had been built in the north, in order to make transportation easy for people. The port had been pedestrianized in the city centre. Another notable facility which had been added is the airport, which was a place with lots of trees before the conversion.
In addition
, a new football stadium was constructed near the city centre.
Submitted by Ah.mahdavi1365 on

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introduction conclusion present
Try to include a short introduction that paraphrases the task prompt and sets the context for your description. Using a brief conclusion to summarize the main changes can also enhance the overall structure of your response.
clear comprehensive ideas
To improve clarity, make sure to clearly distinguish between 1995 and 2010 when describing the changes, using a range of time expressions (by 2010, in 1995, over the period, etc.). This helps to avoid any possible confusion for the reader.
logical structure
Your essay displays a reasonable level of logical structure and organization of ideas. However, to strengthen coherence and cohesion, you should aim to use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively. Organize the description of changes into distinct paragraphs that follow a logical progression.
complete response
You have successfully mentioned various changes that occurred between the two years which is good for task achievement. To further enhance your response, ensure to discuss each change in more detail, elaborating on its significance or impact if possible, rather than just listing the changes.
relevant specific examples
While you have provided some examples to support your points, consider using a wider range of descriptive language and specific detail to paint a clearer picture of the changes for the reader. This could include size, distance, direction, and additional features of the new developments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban development
  • infrastructure
  • gentrification
  • commercial expansion
  • ecological impact
  • residential growth
  • transportation networks
  • public amenities
  • waterfront redevelopment
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