IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of the most people's life. Others think that adult life brings more happiness in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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There is a comparison of happiness in teenage
years
Use synonyms
 and adult
life
Use synonyms
. There are
million
Change the article
a million
show examples
 reasons for people to find
happines
Correct your spelling
happiness
 in their
life
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 during different
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
 of
life
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.
However
Linking Words
, some might find some
phase
Fix the agreement mistake
phases
show examples
 of
life
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being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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happier than
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides. Most adults are nostalgic about their time in
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
 as teenagers. These show us many perks of being teenagers
such
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 as freedoms,
opportunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
, fitness, and agility.
However
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, since teenage
years
Use synonyms
lay
Verb problem
are
show examples
 the pivotal point in our
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. We have
enormous
Correct article usage
an enormous
show examples
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to ourselves
guiding
Change the verb form
to guide
show examples
 our
life
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the direction we aspire.
Although
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 teenage
life
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 is
roller-coaster
Correct article usage
a roller-coaster
show examples
, some might find
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
joy in their journeys. Adult
life
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 is the result of one's teenage time. Actions as a teenager settle down one's adulthood. These included the degrees, the accomplishments, and the wealth. These perks are hard-earned and bring
recuring
Correct your spelling
recurring
show examples
hapiness
Correct your spelling
happiness
.
Although
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life
Use synonyms
 is more stable and boring in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adulthood, no grown-up would like to trade their accomplishment and start over their college admission journey again.
To sum up
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,
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 phase of
life
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 has its own perks and drawbacks. Teenage
years
Use synonyms
 might be a
life
Use synonyms
 with unlimited choices,
however
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also
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 be a
life
Use synonyms
 with
greatest
Correct article usage
the greatest
show examples
 hardships. Adult
years
Use synonyms
 benefit from the
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 during teenage,
however
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, with more settlements,
also
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 limited freedom. It is one's own responsibility to find happiness in their own
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
.

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task achievement
The essay addresses the question and provides a balanced view of both sides of the argument, reaching a conclusion. However, the development of ideas can be enhanced to make the argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Organize the essay with clear paragraphs for each main point. Improve transitions between ideas for a more seamless flow to better guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support your main points, which will enrich your arguments. Use personal experiences or hypothetical situations that illustrate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Check for grammar and punctuation errors that can interfere with the clarity of the essay. Aim for variety in sentence structures to avoid monotony and engage the reader more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • teenage years
  • happiest time
  • freedom to explore
  • discovering the world
  • strong friendships
  • relationships
  • sense of adventure
  • new experiences
  • adult life
  • greater responsibilities
  • a sense of fulfillment
  • career achievements
  • personal accomplishments
  • long-term relationships
  • financial independence
  • life choices
  • satisfaction
  • support
  • immense joy
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