the table below shows the number of mobile phones and personal computers per thousand people in six different countries in 2003.

#phones #computers #thousand #people #six #countries

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The table

represents

Verb problem

shows

show examples

the number of people in thousands who

own

Wrong verb form

owned

show examples

computers and mobile

phones

Use synonyms

in six countries in the year 2003.

Overall

Linking Words

, Luxemburg had the majority of people who owned both mobile

pho es

Correct your spelling

phones

show examples

and PC

while

Linking Words

Chinese

Correct article usage

the Chinese

show examples

had the least

members

Use synonyms

who used owned

phones

Use synonyms

in 2003. It is clearly observed that in Luxembourg 872,000

individuals

Use synonyms

had their own

phones

Use synonyms

whereas

Linking Words

900,000

individuals

Use synonyms

owned PCs in 2003.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the number of

members

Use synonyms

who owned personal

phones

Use synonyms

in Italy

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

almost twice the number of PC

owners

Use synonyms

(737,00 and 480,000) respectively. In

Singapore

Add a comma

Singapore,

show examples

mobile

owners

Use synonyms

were nearly

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

as computer

owners

Use synonyms

with 684 and 690 per

thousands

Fix the agreement mistake

thousand

show examples

. In Germany, it is evident that

individuals

Use synonyms

who had personal

phones

Use synonyms

were 134 per

thousands

Fix the agreement mistake

thousand

show examples

more than computer

owners

Use synonyms

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

China had the least people who bought

phones

Use synonyms

and computers with only 35000 and 88000

members

Use synonyms

Finally

Linking Words

, 452,000

members

Use synonyms

bought individual

phones

Use synonyms

and 380,000

individuals

Use synonyms

bought personal laptops.

Submitted by jmeeme5 on Sun Jan 28 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words phones, members, individuals, owners with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

156 words

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the table below shows the number of mobile phones and personal computers per thousand people in six different countries in 2003.

Many people believe that cigarette smoking has had a negative impact for far too long and the only solution to end ot, is to make cigarettes illegall worldwide. To what extent to you agree or disagree? Give explanations and examples to support your opinion.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public.Why is this happening?Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money.