IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Universities should accept equal numbers of men and women in every subject. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#universities #numbers #men #women
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Education is necessary for everybody.
Moreover
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, having a higher level of study has more benefits, bringing parents to push their children to seek the best possible.
However
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, some universities have an imbalance in the male-to-female student ratio. So, should they accept the same amount of
students
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 of each
gender
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? In
this
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 essay, I will go over why they shouldn't take on the same amount of male and female
students
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. Some subjects are dominated by a single
gender
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. Some subjects attract a certain group of pupils.
For example
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, the number of engineering graduates is mostly populated by guys.
This
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 doesn't mean the program is irrelevant for girls, but it appeals to more male scholars.
This
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 is more beneficial for the learner, for they have the freedom to choose what satisfies them most.
Furthermore
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,
students
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 of the same
gender
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 get along better. Research has shown that we gravitate toward people of our
gender
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.
This
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 could lead to a cooperative class and great friendships. My brother,
for instance
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, has a close friend group in his engineering class, where they push each other to strive for better academic results and well-being. What's more, without having a fixed ratio, the college can seek out the best candidate to
enroll
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enrol
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 in their courses.
For instance
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, colleges will be able to go over every application and pick the most competent student,
instead
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 of having to settle for someone mediocre just to fill in the ratio. In a nutshell, the course would immediately attract those competent interested. In summary, universities shouldn't control the number of male and female
students
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.
Instead
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, they should provide opportunities for anyone seeking education, and emphasize encouraging and accommodating their scholars.
Submitted by nashaponpotapohn on

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly states your thesis and stance. While your introductory paragraph sets the topic, it could explicitly state your viewpoint regarding the question.
task achievement
Develop your main ideas further with more detailed examples or evidence for stronger support. Your points about gender preferences in fields of study, interpersonal relationships, and selection based on merit could be backed up by more specific examples or data.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Using linking words or phrases can help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Enhance cohesion by revisiting your key points in the conclusion, making sure to clearly state your standpoint based on the arguments presented.
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