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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The medical technology is responsible for increasing the average life expectancy. Do you think it is a curse or a blessing?

#technology #life #expectancy #curse
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The advancement of medical machinery significantly contributes to the rise of the average life expectancy. Supporting examinations,
such
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 as imaging, laboratory, and electrography (measurement of electrophysiologic activities) are essential for clinicians to make a
diagnosis
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. The correct
diagnosis
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 will lead to the best
treatment
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.
Therefore
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, the ability to gain improvement in medical
technology
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 for healthcare practice is absolutely a blessing.
Technology
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 development has always been a part of medicine. As medicine grows, so does medical
technology
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.
For instance
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, centuries ago, before the stethoscope was built, doctors put their ears directly on the patients' bodies to listen to the inside.
Then
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 it developed into a simple pipe. As the centuries went by, it became more convenient for both the examiners and the patients. Recently, a stethoscope can do so much more than channelling sounds. It is now can
also
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 record, amplify, and even analyse the result. That being said, doctors can rely more on the machines. They can make an accurate
diagnosis
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 based on the shown data.
This
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 data can
also
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 be a solid base for explaining patient's conditions to their families. These supporting results will give them objective consideration in deciding the
treatment
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. All things considered, medical
technology
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 is a blessing for our well-being. It can be the best assistance for medical practitioners in making an accurate
diagnosis
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 and deciding the best
treatment
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 options.
On the other hand
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, it can
also
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 be a good mediator in the doctors' and patients' communication.
However
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, the development of the
technology
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 should always be the second opinion,
while
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 the main decision-maker is the clinicians who lead the
treatment
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.
Submitted by aghnia.ulhaq on

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Task Achievement
Make sure to answer all parts of the question directly, including whether you think the advancement of medical technology is a curse or a blessing, and explain your position thoroughly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly and create a more cohesive structure.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include a clear introduction stating your main points and a conclusion that summarizes your argument effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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