Some people believe that it is better to stay with one company during a career. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view?
Career
management is accepted as a key to being successful in business. While
some people
believe that staying at a company
during their whole career
may bring some benefits, like working at
a familiar atmosphere, and Change preposition
in
also
spending less time for
getting Change preposition
apply
use
to new Change the form of the verb
used
companys’
rules, I personally disagree with Correct your spelling
companies’
this
idea,
and advocate as long as Remove the comma
apply
people
being employed at the same workplaces, their creativity may be distruped
, and they may earn less money compared to Correct your spelling
disrupted
disturbed
people
, who tend to change their job.
One of the reasons why workers should not work
for the same factories during their career
is the risk of losing Fix the agreement mistake
careers
imaginary
. When a worker Replace the word
their imagination
stay
at the same Change the verb form
stays
company
, their thinking path may be shaped and restricted by the understanding of company
, where they Add an article
the company
work
. Hence
, they are likely to think according to
the factor
, Fix the agreement mistake
factors
instead
of their knowledge, which were
Change the verb form
was
teached
at a college. Correct your spelling
taught
As a result
, their perspectives are restricted, so they face a likelihood of becoming a regular worker. Moreover
, working at
Change preposition
in
the
unchanged atmosphere may Correct article usage
an
disturp
the creativity of employers Correct your spelling
disturb
also
. As long as they stayed
Wrong verb form
stay
at
a familiar area, their brain Change preposition
in
tend
to Change the verb form
tends
work
in the same path, which is likely to speed up the process of losing imaginary
. Replace the word
imagination
To sum up
, staying at
the same Change preposition
in
work place
may disrupt the development of Correct your spelling
workplace
people
’s career
, and Fix the agreement mistake
careers
also
their creativity, due to
stable
atmosphere, and restricting rules of companies.
Correct article usage
a stable
On the other hand
, changing jobs may bring financial benefits to employers. To clarify, as people
start a new job, their salaries are likely to increase significantly in comparison with the situation that they continue to work
at the same company
. Due to
better wage and promotion options, applying for a position at another company
has been becoming more popular among workers in recent years. For example
, approximately a quarter of total doctors in Istanbul tend to change the hospital, where they work
in
every 5 years in order to upgrade their salaries, and Change preposition
apply
also
other amenities like health insurance, parking arear
, or childcare.
Correct your spelling
area
To conclude
, while
working for the same company
for many years is seen a
better alternative for Change preposition
as a
Correct article usage
an individuals’
individuals’
Change noun form
individual’s
carer
by some, I personally believe that working at numerous companies may bring more merits including expanded horizons, and understanding related to business, and Correct your spelling
career
also
having stronger income.Submitted by ilaydailday on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay is well-structured by using clear paragraphs and linking words to smooth transitions between points. Consider revising phrases for clarity to improve the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction should be improved by providing a clearer thesis statement that reflects your viewpoint. Enhance the conclusion by summarizing the main points more coherently.
task achievement
Support your arguments with a range of examples and explain how they precisely relate to the topic. Where you have provided examples, such as the case with doctors in Istanbul, try to ensure the relevance and clarity of these examples.
task achievement
To achieve complete task achievement, ensure that the position is relevant to the prompt throughout and that all parts of the task are addressed consistently and appropriately. Avoid making sweeping statements without supporting evidence.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
